Heavenly fatherliness #16 - Alone with his wife

According to popular wisdom, a good father spends quality time alone with his wife.

It's the wife thing again. Does God have a wife to spend quality time with? Mormons want to think he does, but have to admit that they have no idea. Most Christian folks will say he doesn't because he'd not married. So where does that leave us? Square one. What our Sky Parents do together is only speculation. 

So much for setting a good example for us when it comes to nurturing a loving marriage! Thanks, Dad.

*These attributes represent the popular thoughts of Ask Men’s Jullian Marcus, examiner.com’s Tanya Tringali, and Open Talk Magazine’s Glenn Silvestre as per their respective articles on what makes a good father. 

Martha McBride Knight (Smith) Kimball - wife #17

Martha Knight (March 17, 1805 - November 20, 1901), wife of Vinson Knight, joined the Church with her husband in 1835, the year after meeting Joseph Smith. They moved with the saints to Ohio, Missouri, and in 1841 Nauvoo, where Vinson was appointed as one of the city's three bishops.

Joseph taught Vinson about plural marriage, and in 1842 Martha had gained a sister wife, a woman named Philinda Merrick. That same year Vinson took ill and died, and within a month Martha was married to Joseph.

Before Vinson's death he and Martha would have seven children together: Almira, Rizpah, Adaline, James, Nathaniel, Martha, and Rodolphus.

Joseph tried to set up Almira with his brother Hyrum, but Almira refused. Adaline, on the other hand, would end up in a polygamous marriage. Seeing Adaline's marriage troubles, Almira was always grateful to have avoided polygamy, not knowing that her mother had participated in three polygamous marriages.

Martha's third polygamous marriage was with Heber Kimball a few short months after Joseph's death. She had a child with him and moved to Utah with his harem, but lived most of her life there with relatives. Toward the end of her life she spoke of feeling homeless and lonesomeness.

I'm sure she had some say about what she wanted, but I get the feeling that Martha was a woman who was passed around as decisions were made for her. I hope she enjoys the eternities somehow despite being sealed to three questionable men.

Marinda Nancy Johnson Hyde (Smith) - wife #11

Marinda Johnson (June 28, 1815 - March 24, 1886) joined the Church with her family at age 15. Three years later she was courted by soon-to-be-apostle Orson Hyde. They were married in 1834 and within months Orson was off on a series of missions leaving Marinda and their two children all to their young lonesomeness. The Hydes moved to Nauvoo in 1839 where they had another child.

Then, in April of 1840, Orson was sent to Jerusalem. He was gone for three years leaving his family to suffer financially as well as emotionally. Two years into Orson's Jerusalem mission, Marinda married Joseph Smith. Orson probably didn't know about it before it happened, but within a year of his wife's marriage to Joseph, he also entered polygamy marrying two more women.

Two of Marinda's children Frank Henry and Orson Washington, though they were given the Hyde family name, could have been Joseph's.

Marinda and Orson would stay together for another 27 years - Marinda bearing seven more children and Orson marrying seven more women - until their divorce in 1870.

Such is the bliss of celestial marriage.

Patty Bartlett Sessions (Smith) Perry - wife #10

Patty Bartlett (February 4, 1795 - December 14, 1893) grew up in a non-religious home. At age seventeen she married 22-year-old David Sessions  and had seven children with him: Peregrine, Silvanus, Sylvia, Anna, David, another Anna, and Amanda). David made a living as a farmer, miller, and landlord while Patty learned midwifery. She delivered over 3900 babies in her lifetime.

Patty first encountered the Mormons in 1833 and joined in 1834 after getting David's permission. They soon moved to Far West, Missouri and then on to Nauvoo, where Patty would be sealed to Joseph Smith (almost 11 years her younger) just one month after her daughter Sylvia, who was also in attendance. Willard Richards officiated the ceremony.

After the marriage Patty continued to live with David and accepted the task of training younger women for polygamy. She eventually grew to hate plural marriage as she herself had to learn to share David with another woman named Rosilla. David sent Rosilla out of the house after tension between her and Patty mounted. Rosilla eventually left David.

The Sessions moved to Utah, where David took another wife, 19-year-old Harriott, at which point Patty was essentially left on her own.

After David died Patty married John Perry, but unfortunately for Patty, John also married Harriott, once again leaving Patty alone.

I cannot for the life of me see how the benefits of polygamy might outweigh the pain of rejection Patty must have felt throughout her life. Younger women were constantly being favored over her. Her daughter and sister wife Sylvia was likely getting significant one on one time in the sack with Joseph, her second sister wife stressed her marriage to David, and her third sister wife diverted both David and John from spending much time with her.

Who knows? Maybe Patty wasn't a very pleasant person. She could have been a joyless, demanding, complaining, bore. I also believe it's possible that the polygamous relationships she lived were not inspired. More likely they were occasions where men seized the opportunity to revamp their libido, though in the case of Joseph I suspect it might have had more to do with easing Patty's concerns for Sylvia. Then again, maybe Joseph was interested in being a cougar's cub.