The Land of Make-Believe

For [D. W.] Winnicott, play is acknowledged as other than reality: children grant that they are must playing. Play grants itself the right to treat a spoon as a train, and a parent is barred from asking whether the spoon really is a train. But once play is over, the train is again a mere spoon. Still, play is more than fantasy or escapism. It is the construction of a reality with personal meaning. It takes something from the everyday world - a spoon - and transforms it into something more - a train.

Mormon Barbie's sacred garments.

In Winnicott's terms, play is a 'transitional' activity. It provides a transition form childhood to adulthood, from the inner world of fantasy to outer reality, and from the known outer world to the unknown one. Just as a child clings to a physical object - a teddy bear - to create a safe world that then enables the child to explore with confidence the outside world, so an adult clings to an internalized object - a hobby, an interest, a value, or, I suggest, a myth - that then enables the adult to deal with a much wider world. Just as the child knows that the teddy bear is not Mummy yet clings to it as if it were, so the adult recognizes that the myth is not reality yet adheres to it as if it were. Myth is 'make-believe'. (Robert Segal, Myth: A Very Short Introduction, pp. 138, 139)

Mormon-style robes of the Holy Priesthood.

Heavenly fatherliness #13 - Quality time

According to popular wisdom, a good father spends quality (daily) time with his children.

Growing up Mormon I was told more than once that God is always watching over us, but I find that to be very wishful thinking. If God's there at all, he's doing a great job of staying out of sight. Imagine a father who simply watches his children via hidden camera, or who occasionally whispers something to you from down the hall or from the other side of a wall. I don't think that kind of behavior counts as quality time.

Let's not forget that we somehow have the ability to offend God and that the list of things that offend him is nothing short of enormous. He's just about the worst playmate anyone could hope for - the kind that will pick up his toys and stomp of at the drop of a hat. And this despite the fact that he knows us perfectly and already knows what we'll do before we do it! He can read our minds and then has the nerve to complain about our thoughts. Relax or butt out, Buddy!

Let's also revisit the concept of God waiting for us to come to him. Maybe he's just sitting around waiting for us to call or open the door or whatever, but that's really not what a good father's supposed to do. Come on, God, come entertain us a bit! Learn to appreciate what we like to do!

*These attributes represent the popularized and popularizing thoughts of Ask Men’s Jullian Marcus, examiner.com’s Tanya Tringali, and Open Talk Magazine’s Glenn Silvestre as per their respective articles on what makes a good father.