Monday, March 10, 2014

My tribe, my future

Patriarchal blessings are a big deal in the LDS Church. Receiving that blessing equates to an unmistakeable encounter with real live direct personal prophecy. There is no maybe about it, this is God addressing you and you alone through his prophetic mouthpiece, the patriarch. The future God has in store for you is spelled in delicious detail if you're lucky, but most likely it will read something like a cross between a baby blessing, horoscope, and fortune cookie.

A few things are for certain though. You're from the tribe of Ephraim either directly or through adoption. Congratulations. You should keep your blessing as a private, sacred matter because, if you go around sharing it, you'll probably realize that it's just like everyone else's blessing and that might cause you to doubt. You should read your blessing all the time and probably memorize it because the more time you invest in it the less likely you'll be to throw it out as complete trash. Finally, you'll likely notice as your life progresses that, despite all of your best efforts and deepest convictions, your patriarchal blessing and your real life aren't matching up, and you might be believe it's your fault. Just keep in mind that there are very few certainties anyone can tell you about life; one is that you will die and another is that until you do you'll have to address a several physical needs and experience a wide range of emotions, some pleasant, others less so.

My patriarchal blessing was perfect. It said everything right. Tribe of Ephraim. Check. Diligent mission service. Check. Marriage to a choice daughter of our Heavenly Father. Check. Righteously fulfill my paternal role. Check. Life of potentially high callings and committed service in the Church. Check. Future recipient of unbounded love and respect by countless people. Check. That's either a BINGO! or a jackpot, I think.

Or it could just be the same Mormon spew I've heard every Sunday and every day in between about how my life should be if I want to be "truly happy" and make God so very proud of me.

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