Mormons desperately want everyone else to see how happy they are with the True Gospel of Jesus Christ as taught by the One True Church, covet that boundless happiness, look into Mormonism, decide it's true, and join the fold of the most intensely happy religious practitioners in the world. There are, however, reasons to doubt Mormon happiness. The two biggest in my mind have to do with Utah's extremely high consumption of antidepressants. Naturally Mormons will deny there's any connection of the state's depression to Mormonism stating that Mormon women claim to be happy (so they must be), or that it's probably the Mormons struggling to live the lifestyle who are depressed, or maybe Mormons are more responsible about getting help than people in other states. The counter is that Utah is not the only state to boast both high religious fervor and high antidepressant use.
Utah's new state song.
We might also want to ask just why it is that Utahns are number one for porn subscriptions when the LDS Church specifically prohibits pornography and why it is that Salt Lake City is one of the top U.S. cities for cosmetic surgeries and Utah is 8th for plastic surgeons per capita.
Why wait until the Resurrection to have a perfect body?
Do these look like statistics of a happy people? How might Mormonism be
contributing to the pain and rejection people feel? To their secret
habits? The desires to be more perfect? Isn't it possible that Mormonism
has some seriously ugly side effects on one's mental health?
And what about the kind of self-interrogation designed to make believers feel like utter shit? I couldn't help but wonder.
When you're a believing Mormon you're always looking for the big break, that event that catches the world's attention and gets people flocking en masse to the One True Church. Gordon Hinckley's interviews on 60 Minutes and the Larry King Show had everyone sure that finally the citizens of the United States would wake up to the Marvelous Work and Wonder of the Church! Hinckley's temple building blitz had us all wringing our hands in anticipation as well. Temples mean publicity, it's true, but they also mean God's conquered more land from which his holy powers of the Priesthood would be felt. The Winter Olympics in Salt Lake City provided an opportunity for numerous articles and reports throughout the world on Mormonism. Surely the Olympics would spread the True Gospel like never before! Then there was Mitt Romney running for president of the United States. A Mormon! A faithful member of the Church leading the most powerful nation on earth! Our time had finally come. Let's not forget the "I am a Mormon" publicity campaign! The nations of the world were obviously ready to learn at our feet. We should build a mall for our throngs of visitors and interested parties...
The reality is that none of these events have created a miraculous surge of conversions to the Church. The only surge in numbers we've seen recently came after the Church lowered the minimum age required to serve a mission and the number that surged was simply the number of missionaries in the field, but not the number of converts.
Most Mormons get over the disappointment of nothing exciting ever happening with the Church. We're very good at recovering our faith and adjusting our gaze back up to the horizon when current events fail to produce significant results. We don't let doubts hold us down. Our day will come.
