WoW - Abiding wisdom

You might think that getting some dietary guidelines from God would be a pretty big deal and that believers would readily conform to those guidelines out of their simple love of righteousness, and yet in the years following the revelation now called the Word of Wisdom few, if any, dietary changes took place in Mormonism. Even Joseph regularly ignored the wisdom of the revelation he himself received. Isn't that strange?

It took the LDS Church until 1921 to more or less figure out how it wanted to interpret the Word of Wisdom and make adherence to it a requirement to enter the temple. That means it took 90 years to figure this shit out, nearly a century before Mormons decided God might really be on to something. Isn't that incredible? It seems to me that God really could have cleared things up at any time, like anytime during the eleven years of Joseph's life following the initial revelation.

Why didn't people take this divine counsel more seriously? Why didn't the Church leaders understand it sooner? Were all of the prophets up to Heber Grant leading us astray? Are we being led astray now?

Virtue of abstaining

In the LDS Church we grow up admiring Joseph Smith for his unwavering courage and astonishing moral strength because at the age of seven he declined to drink alcohol as an anesthetic before undergoing bone surgery.

But we also grow up failing to address his willingness to imbibe alcohol as and adult, including the day he was killed.

Rather than consider what this might mean about Joseph's character, let's reflect instead on what this says about LDS culture. Why can't we be honest with ourselves about Joseph Smith's behavior? Do we think that his drinking in adulthood shows a fallen man, someone who was stronger as a seven year old? Does Joseph's drinking undermine our faith in the World of Wisdom? Will admitting that he liked alcohol somehow give members the green light to start drinking? Why can't we be honest?

WoW - the ole sweet tooth

It just so happens that we're learning more and more about how the kind of sugar consumption we enjoy today makes it very difficult indeed to "run and not be weary" and "walk and not faint" (D&C 89:20). In fact, all our sugar might be more like an open invitation to the "destroying angel" to come slay us.

Why didn't God warn us about this whole sugar fiasco? It would have been truly wise of him.

WoW - wine, strong drinks, and mild drinks

In my experience Mormons, even the ones who are on the fence about the metaphysical stuff, boast of the wisdom of the Word of Wisdom, the LDS Church's dietary guideline (read "commandment"). The rules seem to stand on their own. For example, everyone knows that alcohol is bad for you. In the short term it impairs your judgment, speed, and coordination and gives you horrible breath; in the long term excessive drinking contributes to a disgustingly chubby gut, depression, cirrhosis of the liver, and cancer. That's why it's so easy to get behind the Church's policy on total abstinence.

And it's right in the scriptures: "inasmuch as any man drinketh wine or strong drink among you, behold it is not good, neither meet in the sight of your Father"!

It's very clear... until you read the rest of the verse: "only in assembling yourselves together to offer up your sacraments before him [the Father]". SO WINE'S OKAY IN CHURCH (according to the word of God to Joseph Smith).

No biggy. It's just a sip of wine. In fact it's so insignificant that we don't even have to use wine at all in the sacrament. Let's ignore what God supposedly said and move on.

The next verse is also about wine for church services: "And, behold, this should be wine, yea, pure wine of the grape of the vine, of your own make". WE'RE COMMANDED TO MAKE OUR OWN WINE. Interesting. It's probably supposed to mean grape juice. No biggy.

 The next verse is just weird: "And, again, strong drinks are not for the belly, but for the washing of your bodies". What? This has to mean that we can use high grade alcohol to sanitize wounds, right? Then again it doesn't mention wounds, does it? Whatever it means, it definitely doesn't say you should be doing shots. No drinking alcohol, people!

"Nevertheless, wheat for man, and corn for the ox, and oats for the horse, and rye for the fowls and for swine, and for all beasts of the field, and barley for all useful animals, and for mild drinks, as also other grain." (verse 17, emphasis added)

Hold up a second there. Wheat beer? Yes, that's for man. Barley beer? Yes, it's a lovely mild drink. Mead? Sure, there are hops in there too. Other mild drinks made from grains? Yes, it's all very useful.

After searching the Scriptures, I have to admit that I'm a little confused. I thought that "God has spoken against the use of ... alcohol," but it seems he's only spoken against some uses and in favor of others. If I were to actually follow the Word of Wisdom when it comes to alcohol, I wouldn't be the weirdo at the party who's always turning down a beer. Hell, I might even be the dude pouring vodka all over his body instead of just mixing it into drinks like everyone else. But if you want to taste my wine, you're going to have to come to church with me on Sunday!

How the hell does the Word of Wisdom speak for our day?