TEMPLE SECRETS REVEALED!

I wasn't sure I'd live to see this day though I often dreamed it would come. The Mormon Newsroom has finally revealed to the world the faith's secret temple garb, from underwear to baker's hats. (Here's the YouTube link.)

Frankly I'm amazed. Way to go Newsroom! I don't doubt for a second that you released this information out of a pure desire to be open and forthright with the world and not because you're hoping to catch up with the many other people who have already been controlling the online discussion about (not to mention entered the production of) these things for years.

My only complaint is how you frame the explanation of garments and temple clothes. You point to religious clothing worn by other faiths as though everyone thinks those clothes are totally awesome and not at all weird. If you're goal is to say "Hey, look! We've also entered the masquerade of bad fashion ideas people shouldn't make fun of!" then all you've really accomplished is making Mormons look like Johnny-come-latelies. If you think you're somehow going to convince the rest of the world that Mormon temple garb is better than every other religion's, I doubt this video will do the trick.

Oh, wait! And there was also that line in the video about "echoes to antiquity" found in temple clothes. Why didn't you mention the much more recent echoes as well? I'm sure the general public would also love to hear about the Mormon connection to other once secret robes.

Fashion trends

God doesn't give a shit about what we mortals might think is cool. God tells us what is right and we adjust our thoughts and behavior to match his righteousness. End of story.

The temple - head gear

Temple clothes are neither attractive nor holy, and seeing a large number of your immediate and extended family, a few neighbors, and a bunch of unknowns congregated in all that gear (for me) felt about like walking into the music video for Pink Floyd's "Another Brick in the Wall" only more white and fewer shadows. It wasn't fun. Had we been 8 year olds prepping for a Christmas pageant I might have felt better about things.

What's the story with these awful hats? Who's the butcher, who's the baker, and who's the candlestick maker here? Why doesn't anyone else feel as ridiculous as I do? And why the fuck are all the women veiled? Seriously, why? Being segregated by sex was already weird enough, but the veil was really going too far for me. 

Why had no one shown me these clothes before stepping into the temple locker room or how to wear them before sending me into the endowment session? What did they mean? Why were they so ugly and poorly made? Is this really what we'll all be wearing in the Celestial Kingdom? Is this how God dresses?

I wasn't sure I should be taking out my endowment that day. Maybe I wasn't ready. Maybe I just had to sit through it and it would all come together. The Church and the Gospel made perfect sense to me at the time, so surely the endowment ceremony would eventually come into focus too, right? 

Doubt your doubts! This can't be as bad as it seems. Oh look! The women get to remove the veils from over their faces now! See? It's not so bad.