Wednesday, December 18, 2013
I couldn't help but question my participation in the Church when it became painfully obvious that I couldn't enjoy church meetings. Every talk, every lesson, every hymn, every nod to authority, every Sunday smile made me hurt inside. I wondered constantly what I was doing in church. I wondered what any of us were doing in church. Nobody really enjoyed being there. There must be a reason half the congregation shows up late even though the meeting house is all of two minutes away from home.
Not enjoying church meetings is a common problem in Mormonism that is frequently addressed (for example, the January 2013 New Era featured an article about how to never have a boring church class ever again and by November of the same year they're soliciting readers for more info on the same topic for an upcoming issue - not being bored at church). The problem, according to Church leaders and publications, is that we the members are not preparing ourselves properly. We're not seeking the Spirit the way we should. It's our fault church sucks, not the lesson manuals, not the repetitiveness, and certainly not the banality of what's taught or the blatant dismissal of numerous facts.
I agree that members half-ass the vast majority of their talks and improvise most of their lessons, but couldn't that be indicative of how uninteresting the material is? Sit down and write a little something about following the prophet and see how compelling it is. Isn't there at least a chance that church is boring because of what we're told to talk about?
Whatever the case my be, I accepted that it was principally my fault I wasn't cuckoo for church and kept rededicating myself to a better attitude and a more open heart. That is until I just couldn't anymore. How many times do you have to eat shit sandwiches before you realize it's not the Thanksgiving feast you were told it would be?