1. God is a physical being
2. named Elohim
3. who lives on or near a planet or star called Kolob;
4. he has billions and billions of offspring (the spirits of all mankind)
5. that he implanted on an empty planet (Earth),
6. where they would have to face the wrath of natural disasters, disease, hunger, doubt and mutual violence
7. all in an effort to determine which of these billions of offspring would worship him enough to become the next generation of ultra-intelligent gods.
A later prophet named Lorenzo Snow put it this way: "As man now is, God once was; as God is now, man may be."
Lorenzo, confident enough to sport the godbeard early on in the program.
In other worlds, for Mormons, God is a super-powerful, mega-smart alien who colonized a planet with his larvae and turned the world into a kind of jungle boot camp as a sort of test. He's currently out there in the Universe somewhere watching us and waiting, waiting to see which of us will qualify to join the ranks of the GODS! It's called the Plan of Happiness, guys!
"HA!" "HA HA HA!" "HA HA!
I can't wait to meet God's god, our Grangod, and all the rest, all the way back to the Very First Colonizer, Alpha. Or did he have a heavenly father as well?
It's all fun stuff to think about!