My beloved brothers

Our dear matriarchs have often offered us men priceless advice on how to best prepare for the blessings and responsibilities the Lord has in store for us. I hope all of us with a penis find it within our hearts to wisely head their indispensable council.

My beloved brothers (and dear, young brothers), men of the Church, today I should like to speak about the role of manhood in this great Church. I would like to pay sincere tribute and give special encouragement to these special gents. I trust that what I say will be helpful and beneficial to you tonight. 

First of all I want you to be proud that you are a man. God made it clear that men are very special, and has also very clearly defined their position, their duties, their destiny. As a man you have been born with many unique endowments that are not common to women. 

Let me remind us all of man's primary responsibilities. One of your most important obligations is to be able to remain clean and pure. Be chaste and do everything in your power to help others to be. You young men must set the proper example. Help our young women stay morally clean. Young men should realize that the women they date will not honor and respect them if they have been involved in moral transgression. Equal Opportunity Promiscuity simply robs men of their moral influence. Always remember that you can go much farther on respect than on popularity.

Another contention raised is that a man is free to choose what he does with his own body. I would enlist the righteous Priestesshood of God to help such misguided young men, because a beautiful, chaste man is the perfect workmanship if God. Respect yourself. Most men naturally want to love and be loved by a good woman. What man could want any greater glory or tribute than that which comes from an appreciative, loving wife? She will largely determine the remainder of his life. You are expected to go with your wife wherever her employment or call may take her. You will even surrender your name to her name. 

The pursuit of a career instead of marriage and the caring for children is an increasing choice for many young men. Some of our brothers indicate that they do not want to consider marriage until after they have completed their degrees or pursued a career. This is not right! It's generally selfishness, cold and self-centered, which leads people to shun the marriage responsibility. Husbands, submit yourselves unto your own wives.

Much is said of the drudgery and confinement of the man's role in the home. You belong there! Some male rights thinkers view homemaking with outright contempt, but as men, the roles of husband and father are at the very center of your souls and cry out to be satisfied! This is the great, irreplaceable work of men; life cannot go on if men cease to make and care for children. Fortunately most men don't have to track a career like a woman does. Of course as a man you can do exceptionally well in the workplace, but is that the best use of your divinely appointed talents and masculine traits? The father who entrusts his child to the care of others that he may do non-fatherly work, whether for gold, for fame or for civic service, should remember that a child left to himself bringeth his father to shame. If you can be a full-time homemaker, be grateful! Do not feel denied and never complain about this unselfish service. Mormon men are the hardest working men in the world, but you do all these things willingly - because you are a man!

So my beloved brothers, please know how much we appreciate you. We love you and respect you. The Priestesshood leadership of this church at all levels gratefully acknowledges the service, sacrifice, commitment and contribution of the brethren. For the women of the Church, I say thank you. Thank you for making our lives so much better! Thank you so much. Never wonder if you have worth in the sight of the Lord and to the leaders of the Church.

In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Wasn't that a great message? Don't we feel so loved?

"Whuh the fuh?!?"