Smooth operator

Folks living in the Middle East and the Mediterranean are lucky sons of guns! They're blessed enough to live where olives have historically been cultivated and spread. Why does that matter? It matters because olive oil is the awesomest!

It's a magic healing elixir, folks. When consecrated by the power of the Holy Melchizedek Priesthood, it has amazing healing powers.

It transforms people into priests.

It turns you into royalty.

It made Jesus the Oily One way awesomer than all the other Jesuses. (I guess there were olives in the Pre-Existence.)

It guarantees Celestial glory.

And it's edible.

The point is this olive oil is very cool stuff when backed up by the proper magic which is why Mormon men tend to be locked and loaded at all times.

Keep your barrels well oil, brethren.

The temple - doubly secret secrets

Even as an endowed, sealed member of the LDS Church, there's a good chance you've not been informed on all the goings on of the temple. Growing up Mormon I remember hearing about meetings in the upper room of the Salt Lake temple that supposedly involved the Big JC sitting down at meetings, and I remember studying about Holy of Holies in the Israelite tabernacle and Solomon's temple. There was a lot of speculation with friends about what happens in the temple we went through, then there was more speculation about what also happens in the temple after we went through. Isn't it a little strange that we were still speculating even after we had received the secrets of the Kingdom? I had heard the James Talmage had written his magnus opus Jesus the Christ in the temple, but I couldn't imagine where. There must be private room I had never seen and had absolutely no idea how to access. I had also heard rumors about a special feet washing ceremony, or something awesome like that, for apostles, who were probably getting visitations from Jesus. The point is that even as an endowed member of the Church, the temple was still VERY MYSTERIOUS.

Fortunately a brave soul has come forth to share the insider of insiders information with all of us outsiders of insiders. Tom Phillips gave an interview to Mormon Stories' John Dehlin, but the potato was too hot and never made onto the Mormon Stories site. It's okay, though, because it's on various other sites in various forms. Here is one of two YouTube excerpts from the five-hour-long interview.

Part 2 is here. (Notice that Tom is still very careful about what he says and doesn't say.)

Tom and his wife were instructed to keep their experience on the down low. Call this sacred if you want - Tom speaks of it as a very touching and tearful experience - but it's also extremely secret. And disappointing. SPOILER ALERT: JC never showed.

On the plus side, Tom's "calling and election" were "made sure"! He had been given the most explicit guarantee of the Celestial Kingdom in all of Mormonism.

Think how many more converts the missionaries would have if they had this carrot to wave in front of investigators!

About the same, you say? You're probably right.