The temple - doubly secret secrets

Even as an endowed, sealed member of the LDS Church, there's a good chance you've not been informed on all the goings on of the temple. Growing up Mormon I remember hearing about meetings in the upper room of the Salt Lake temple that supposedly involved the Big JC sitting down at meetings, and I remember studying about Holy of Holies in the Israelite tabernacle and Solomon's temple. There was a lot of speculation with friends about what happens in the temple we went through, then there was more speculation about what also happens in the temple after we went through. Isn't it a little strange that we were still speculating even after we had received the secrets of the Kingdom? I had heard the James Talmage had written his magnus opus Jesus the Christ in the temple, but I couldn't imagine where. There must be private room I had never seen and had absolutely no idea how to access. I had also heard rumors about a special feet washing ceremony, or something awesome like that, for apostles, who were probably getting visitations from Jesus. The point is that even as an endowed member of the Church, the temple was still VERY MYSTERIOUS.

Fortunately a brave soul has come forth to share the insider of insiders information with all of us outsiders of insiders. Tom Phillips gave an interview to Mormon Stories' John Dehlin, but the potato was too hot and never made onto the Mormon Stories site. It's okay, though, because it's on various other sites in various forms. Here is one of two YouTube excerpts from the five-hour-long interview.

Part 2 is here. (Notice that Tom is still very careful about what he says and doesn't say.)

Tom and his wife were instructed to keep their experience on the down low. Call this sacred if you want - Tom speaks of it as a very touching and tearful experience - but it's also extremely secret. And disappointing. SPOILER ALERT: JC never showed.

On the plus side, Tom's "calling and election" were "made sure"! He had been given the most explicit guarantee of the Celestial Kingdom in all of Mormonism.

Think how many more converts the missionaries would have if they had this carrot to wave in front of investigators!

About the same, you say? You're probably right.

Promoting faith

"As the Information Age is now upon us, we feel with all of this information out there, we owe it, particularly to the rising generation, to provide good, reliable information." That's from Steven Snow, a member of the First Quorum of the Seventy (just below the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles) and spokesman for the Church on this particular occasion, saying that if it weren't for the Internet the Church would happily keep ugly information about the Church away from its members, especially the youth. It's time to start telling the whole story. Or at least enough of it to keep doubters doubting their doubts and not their faith.

"We have understandably in the past not spent a lot of time worrying about these issues because our mission is to promote faith in the Lord Jesus Christ," says Snow. Is it really that understandable, Steve? I'm not sure I personally understand it. I think my understanding for why the Church has been leaving all the juicy parts of it's history locked up in the First Presidency vault leans more in the direction of "holy shit, the leaders of the Church KNOW this whole thing's a giant clusterfuck of half-truths and total lies and they don't want to blow their cover!"

Members who don't want to consider the possibility that the Church has - since its inception - dealt dishonestly with its members and the world might come up with an accusatory comment like the following:

"You've seriously been to church every Sunday your whole life and never knew about this stuff? Come on! That doesn't make sense! The Church published an article back before you were born that mentions some of this in a footnote, AND an apostle brought it up in a stake conference a couple of decades ago. None of this should be a surprise!"

That makes perfect sense, right? We should all be responsible for finding and reading every Church publication and devoting all contents to memory, shouldn't we? What? Who cares if it's all in English? Members in non-English-speaking parts of the world should be learning English from the missionaries anyway! What? I don't care if they don't have constant access to and unlimited time to spend on the Internet! It's members' fault that they don't know this stuff! It's their fault they don't have a good enough understanding of the Gospel! It's their fault their testimonies can't handle a couple of bumps in the road!

Let's turn to Steven Hassan for some interesting considerations of what the Church has been up to. He points out that an organization is guilty of using deception when it (a) deliberately holds back information [that isn't "faith promoting"], (b) distorts the information to make it acceptable [as in the case of Joseph Smith practicing "magic"], or (c) lies outright [like claiming polygamy started in the early 1840s]. But that's only the beginning of the kinds of deception Hassan lists. When information originating from outside the organization is minimized or discouraged (as it is in the Church), when there are distinctions between insider and outsider doctrines [e.g. the temple] and leaders who control all the information are the ones deciding "who 'needs to know' what" (as has been and still is the case with the Church), and when the organization floods its members with propaganda (Ensign, Liahona, New Era, The Friend, Deseret News, I Am a Mormon, Church movies, etc.) you just might be in a cult.

I know Mormons hate being compared to a cult. They absolutely hate it. Mormons don't have to get permission from their bishops to make decisions about things like how to spend their money and where/if to send their kids to school. They can read and watch whatever they want without reporting it to their higher ups. Mormons are free to do what they want. And, no, the stake president isn't demanding members give up their daughters for polygamous marriages! How can anyone dare compare Mormonism to a cult?

We're not a cult! We're just okay wearing Church-prescribed blinders and having the wool pulled over our eyes. That's all.

It's about time

How many Mormons have added up all the hours they dedicate to meeting the demands of righteous membership?

Monday:  15-30+ min personal scripture study
                15-30+ min family scripture study
                1-2 hrs family home evening preparation
                 20 min-2 hrs. family home evening
                 5 min family prayer
Tuesday:  15-30+ min personal scripture study             
                 15-30+ min family scripture study
                 5 min family prayer
Wednesday: 15-30+ min personal scripture study             
                 15-30+ min family scripture study
                 1-2 hrs + travel time for Mutual or Institute
                 1-2+ hrs lesson/activity preparation for Mutual and Institute instructors
                 5 min family prayer
Thursday: 15-30+ min personal scripture study             
                 15-30+ min family scripture study
                 5 min family prayer
Friday:     15-30+ min personal scripture study             
                 15-30+ min family scripture study
                 1.5 hrs + travel time for weekly temple attendance
                  5 min family prayer
Saturday:  1-4+ hrs talk and lesson preparation
Sunday:    3 hrs for church services + travel time
                 1 hr for leadership meetings + dead time between meetings
                 30 min choir practice
                 15+ min to set chairs up or put them away
                 15-30+ min personal scripture study             
                 15-30+ min family scripture study
                  5 min family prayer
 

      
I'm not entirely sure how to tally that all up. Not every member will have these exact duties and a good many will have more than these, especially in smaller congregations. A low-ball estimate puts us somewhere around 14.5 hrs/week dedicated to doing the things the Church wants you to do, the higher estimate puts us somewhere around 25+ hrs/week. That's essentially a part time job.

But, of course, there are even more duties that we have to add on.

Monthly: 2-3 hrs + travel time  to fill home teaching duties for 2-3 families
                2-3 hrs + travel time to fill visiting teaching duties for 2-3 women
                1 hr for any deacons in the family to collect fast offerings
                1-2 hrs + travel time to attend a fireside
                2+ hrs for Relief Society activities + 1-3+ hrs of food/activity preparation + travel time
Other:      1 hr. + travel time for high schoolers to attend Seminary
                1-2+ hrs preparation time for unpaid early morning seminary teachers
                20-24 hrs. to listen to all of the semiannual General Conference sessions
                ?? hrs helping your neighbors (yard work, baby sitting, comforting, socializing, etc.)
                ?? hrs collecting and maintaining food storage
                ?? hrs assisting in humanitarian aid following natural disasters
                1.5-2 years to serve a one-time proselytizing mission
                1.5 years each to serve as many service missions as desired when your kids are grown

Mormons are also instructed to be active in the communities and to get involved in local politics. And let's not forget that when you do have time to relax and seek out personal interests and entertainment it's always a good idea to engage in activities that bring the Spirit, like listening to hymns and Church-related music, reading faith promoting books, and watching wholesome Mormon movies.

Steven Hassan had a few ideas about groups that require "major time commitment... for indoctrination sessions and group rituals" and try to "keep members so busy they don't have time to think," and he included those ideas in his work on cults. But Mormonism isn't a cult! It's just a regular old Restoration-style church founded on the True Christ and the True Gospel and it only makes sense that anyone fully dedicated to loving God and neighbor would subscribe heart and soul to everything Christ has asked us to do through his church!

Jesus says: "Stop working to feed your families, dammit! This is MY work and MY glory, you ungrateful fucks!"

There should be no doubt in anyone's mind that we are on the Lord's time here. He paid our ransom and the least we can do is dedicate our lives to his work and our salvation, right?