Sex changes - a force for good

General authorities have a lot to say about the innate qualities of women and their divinely appointed role here on earth. What happens if we flip the sexes in what they have to say about the topic? Do we have a nonsensical statement because the logic is gender dependent, or do we end up with a statement that still agrees with LDS thought because gender is irrelevant?

"Every young man is a child of destiny and every adult man a powerful force for good." Jeffrey Holland, "To Young Women," Ensign, Nov. 2005, 28.

In this quote gender is entirely irrelevant. There is nothing in what Jeff has to say that relates exclusively to women. No doubt about it.

Sex changes - Heavenly Mother's husband

General authorities have a lot to say about the innate qualities of women and their divinely appointed role here on earth. What happens if we flip the sexes in what they have to say about the topic? Do we have a nonsensical statement because the logic is gender dependent, or do we end up with a statement that still agrees with LDS thought because gender is irrelevant?

"A three-year-old had wandered off on an adventure, shedding her clothing as she went. When she realized she was lost as well as cold, she knocked at the home of this young man. He saw a little girl standing on the step; she was wearing only soiled underwear and was crying her heart out. He took her in, and while they waited for the police to find her father, he wrapped her in a blanket and held her on his lap and sang songs to her. He made her clown faces on home-dipped ice cream cones and drew pictures with her so she could surprise her mother. He made her feel marvelous.

"When at last the girl's father arrived, she started for the front door. Then suddenly she stopped, maybe remembering what a special time she had had with the young man.

"'Hey!' she asked. 'Are you Heavenly Mother's husband?'

The young man was startled - and sobered. At last he replied, 'No, but I am her son.'"
Elaine A. Cannon, "Voices," New Era, Jul. 1980, 13.

Besides being a sappy, poorly told story, there's nothing in this modified version that should offend LDS sensitivities. We might be caught off guard at first by a story about a naked little girl spending an afternoon with a young man, but I think that's mostly because American culture - disgustingly - has hyper-sexualized children. The most offensive aspect of this story is found in the original, where Heavenly Mother is called "Heavenly Father's wife". You know there's a problem with gender inequality when a woman's identity relies entirely on a reference to a man.

Sex changes - handsome and chaste

General authorities have a lot to say about the innate qualities of women and their divinely appointed role here on earth. What happens if we flip the sexes in what they have to say about the topic? Do we have a nonsensical statement because the logic is gender dependent, or do we end up with a statement that still agrees with LDS thought because gender is irrelevant?

"The true spirit of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints gives to man the highest place of honor in human life. To maintain and to merit this high dignity he must possess those virtues which have always, and which will ever demand the respect and love of mankind... [because] 'a handsome and chaste man is the perfect workmanship of God.'" First Presidency of Heber J. Grant, Improvment Era, May 1935, 276.

 The original quote was already plenty condescending to women, but readdressing it to men makes it feel strangely empowering for sexy men who won't give it up. The message makes just as much doctrinal sense maled so I'm going to have to call bullshit on brother Heber. Men do indeed get the highest place of honor in the LDS Church; Mormons are all about being virtuous, lovely, of good report and praiseworthy; and who's to argue that God really gets off on handsome, chaste men?

My beloved sisters

Here's a wonderful video synopsis of what our beloved brethren have been saying to our beloved sisters these past several decades. May your hearts be filled with their patronizing, patriarchal love as they thank you for staying in your place.

(This is totally the kind of thing I mentioned earlier on in this project.)

General Women's Conference

'Tis the season for the parade of boring, self-important general LDS meetings. Here's a silly little something from a fellow named Joseph Rawlins.

Here's Feminist Mormon Housewives' live blog about how the meeting went.

Young Women's Conference

Women speakers in General Conference were always the worst. They always seemed to adopt an incredibly high, sappy tone similar to the register one uses when speaking motherese. Even from a very early age I found them impossible to pay attention to, so when I found out that there was a Young Women's Conference I was more than happy I was not required to attend. Who the hell needed nearly two full hours of straight Magic Flute voice? Not I.

But once I got out on my mission I had a change of heart. Young Women's Conference was important. The talks addressing the the future women of the Church were important. They had to be - everything the Church has to say is critically important! I was sure I had overlooked the impressive content simply out of bias toward the method of delivery (i.e. middle-aged women in pastels - the typical color choice for LDS women about to go Magic Flute voice all over the microphone). 

I decided to give their talks a fair shake. I needed to know what they were saying. I needed to tune in to the spirit they brought, if not their voices. So I started reading the Young Women's Conference talks from the Conference editions of the Ensign that had piled up over the years in my mission apartment. I don't know how many conferences-worth I read but I do know the more I read the angrier I became.

Why were all of these talks so doctrine-less? All I could really find in these talks to young women was manipulative bullshit about how they all needed to be virtuous because Heavenly Father loves virtue and wants them to be worthy to marry in the temple. Typically in Mormon speak "virtue" means sexual chastity. All the girls were being told, more or less, was "be happy, don't drink coke, don't dress like a slut, and protect your hymen because otherwise you'll make Heavenly Father sad/disappointed/angry". Obey, girls, you don't want to have any regrets on your wedding night!

It was disgusting. I wrote home about it. I asked my family what the was going on. Had Young Women's Conference always been so doctrinally shallow and so socially manipulative? (It just so happens that all LDS conference addresses are shallow and manipulative, not just the YWM talks.)

I doubted the fair treatment of women in the Church. I could see at least one way in which people with a vagina were treated with at least some level of condescension, and I didn't like it. Why would God instruct his servants to dish out a load of fluff to His daughters, the future mothers of Zion? It didn't seem right. When I never received any response from my family and friends on the topic I of course found a way to cope. I doubted my doubts and moved forward with faith.