Sex changes - handsome and chaste

General authorities have a lot to say about the innate qualities of women and their divinely appointed role here on earth. What happens if we flip the sexes in what they have to say about the topic? Do we have a nonsensical statement because the logic is gender dependent, or do we end up with a statement that still agrees with LDS thought because gender is irrelevant?

"The true spirit of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints gives to man the highest place of honor in human life. To maintain and to merit this high dignity he must possess those virtues which have always, and which will ever demand the respect and love of mankind... [because] 'a handsome and chaste man is the perfect workmanship of God.'" First Presidency of Heber J. Grant, Improvment Era, May 1935, 276.

 The original quote was already plenty condescending to women, but readdressing it to men makes it feel strangely empowering for sexy men who won't give it up. The message makes just as much doctrinal sense maled so I'm going to have to call bullshit on brother Heber. Men do indeed get the highest place of honor in the LDS Church; Mormons are all about being virtuous, lovely, of good report and praiseworthy; and who's to argue that God really gets off on handsome, chaste men?

Heavenly fatherliness #43 - Having fun

According to popular wisdom, a good father knows how to have fun with his children.

It's hard to believe that a Guy who forbids loud laughter really knows how to have a rollicking good time. When was the last time you had a fun time with God? Are you sure God was there or was it just you and some people you care about talking a bit about God? What's the funniest joke God's told you? How long did it take you to get the punchline? What's the best game you two have played together? Did you win or did he? Do you guys, like, totally hit it off?

I doubt you have real answers to these questions. I find the very idea of God having fun laughable at best.

*These attributes represent the popular thoughts of Ask Men’s Jullian Marcus, examiner.com’s Tanya Tringali, and Open Talk Magazine’s Glenn Silvestre as per their respective articles on what makes a good father.

The sacredness and beauty of procreative powers

Sexual sin is one of the worst sins according to Mormon scripture, but when a couple engages in the right kind of sex (nothing too crazy!) it's the most god-like act they can perform. Just remember, we have to do it God's way.

Great. So what about our animal kin? They're totally doing it God's way, aren't they? Animal sex is probably the most sacred sex because they have all they know is the nature God gave them. Should it be emulated then? Maybe. Is it loving? I suppose so. Is it beautiful? So much of it seems so violent and disgusting, but I'll let you be the judge.

God's obviously very cool with this because he's the one who wants them doing it in the first place. Is there any possibility that God thinks this is vile and base and wants to punish these animals for their behavior? What's the difference between their sex and our sex? The amount of lingerie worn? Where does God draw the line with licking and thrusting?

Some times I doubt he has a line drawn anywhere.