Back to you, Dieter

Dear Dieter,

Two years ago I started this blog because you recycled a mind-numbingly stupid slogan about how we needed to be aggressively critical towards our doubts instead of towards our faith. It's a slogan that suggests we should engage in self-censorship by turning a blind eye to unfavorable information. You suggest that ignorance is better than honesty. The fact is it's not.

In one of your talks earlier this month, you repackage the story of Daniel ("and other young students in Israel") in Babylon like it's the story of a young, enthusiastic Mormon headed off to a liberal university where he must resist the peer pressure to adopt the philosophies of man. "But Daniel believed. Daniel did not doubt." It's a clever move. It's also a very misleading juxtaposition. To suggest that today's higher education systems throughout the world are comparable to the vicious theocracy of King Nebuchadnezzar in which nonconformists are burned alive is, in a word, bizarre. Seriously, the Babylonian "team of scholars" (the Bible says "magicians and astrologers") has nothing to do with thousands upon thousands of highly trained researchers across the world who endlessly critique each other's work. Daniel, the Israelite captive carried off to be indoctrinated probably has more in common with young LDS missionaries than college students being pressured to binge drink with their fraternities and sororities.

Just think about it. I am, Dieter, and I think your analogy sucks. How much easier would it have been for Daniel to simply go along with the ways of Babylon? I don't know. I imagine he would have faced some pressure from his fellow Isrealites in captivity and I can't imagine how attractive the Babylonian belief system would have been, if at all. Please don't think that replacing one's belief system is easy. When a belief system is not yours, you're mostly likely going to think it's obviously ridiculous. He could have set aside the restrictive code of conduct God had given the children of Israel. He could have feasted on the rich foods provided by the king and indulged in the worldly pleasures of the natural man. Think of all the vile bacon he could have been eating! He would have avoided ridicule. I didn't see where in the book of Daniel it mentions ridicule. Can I get a verse on that?

He would have been popular. WTF? He was the prince of the eunuch's favorite and one of Nebuchadnezzar's top four councilors.

He would have fit in. Poor kid. At least the totalitarian king loved him. :S

His path might have been much less complicated. Had he just drank the Kool-aid, er... wine...

As silly as your talk is up to this point, it's outdone in the next section where you blame it all on Satan and shame people who are skeptical or have doubts.

Satan, our adversary, wants us to fail. Satan is an early Christian invention, not an actual spirit being. He spreads lies as part of his effort to destroy our belief. What lies? That Joseph Smith had a history of making shit up to get money out of people starting from his early teens? That he plagiarized and falsified rather than actually translate? That he cheated on his wife many, many times and tried to exonerate himself with a fabricated revelation? He slyly suggests that the doubter, the skeptic, the cynic is sophisticated and intelligent, while those who have faith in God and His miracles are naive, blind, or brainwashed. No, that's not Satan, that's logic. Satan will advocate that it is cool to doubt spiritual gifts and the teachings of true prophets. No one's doubting because it's "cool", you asshole! People doubt because they see various inconsistencies in the theory of spiritual gifts and the teachings of those claiming to be prophets. Most of us don't go hunting for them; they arise naturally throughout the years of indoctrination. Right now you sound like the type of person who would claim fossils were put on earth by Satan to deceive us.

And now for the token quote from this train wreck of a prophetic message - the part where you call doubters ignoble, unimpressive, lazy, morally weak, disloyal and cowardly.

Brethren, let me be clear: there is nothing noble or impressive about being cynical. Skepticism is easy—anyone can do it. It is the faithful life that requires moral strength, dedication, and courage. Those who hold fast to faith are far more impressive than those who give in to doubt when mysterious questions or concerns arise.

Who the fuck do you think you're fooling? First off, don't conflated cynicism for skepticism. Now let me show you the other side:
  
Following your family, your friends and your community in their beliefs is easy. It's great having everyone around you be in constant agreement because they think like you do. It's very hard when you don't share the beliefs of your community and you live your life as an outsider. Your kids might even have a hard time finding friends whose parents will let them come over to play. But it is the sincere life of inquiry and careful judgement that requires moral strength, dedication and courage! Those who hold fast to integrity of thought and open-mindedness are far more impressive than those who allow their family or the geographical location in which they were born to provide a prepared set of default answers to questions or concerns about your worldview.

You end your talk with the horrible idea that we simply choose to believe because somehow that will make all the absurdities of the LDS history and doctrine magically disappear. You're asking us to shut off our brains, to stop thinking. Most people can't do this. Most people will struggle silently with cognitive dissonance, will wear out their knees praying for answers, will hate themselves for not understanding and not getting any divine enlightenment. Others will have the courage and good sense to accept the reality of life on earth and walk away from the Church.

Dieter, you should be ashamed of yourself. Your talk will hurt thousands of people who are struggling to make Mormonism work somehow. My only consolation is that the only reason you gave this talk in the first place is because so many people are leaving the Church. You're desperate. You can't defend the Church with facts, so you attack the people who have seen the facts. How cowardly of you.

Temple prep - Endowed from on High "Lesson 6"

I'm reading the Church Education System's manual for temple preparation and adding my two cents. Text found here.

Objective

“And inasmuch as my people build a house unto me in the name of the Lord, and do not suffer any unclean thing to come into it, that it be not defiled, my glory shall rest upon it” (D&C 97:15). Does this mean that the glory of the Lord is not upon any temple that has unwittingly introduced an unrepentant sinner? If so, I'm willing to argue that there's not a single temple on the earth today with the glory of the Lord. Cheaters enter temples across the globe every single day. The Church cannot stop it from happening because no one in the Church has the "power of discernment".

To prepare the class members to worthily enter the temple. This looks a lot like the objective of Lesson 2. Let's move on. When are you going to have a lesson on Freemasonry's influence on Joseph Smith and the LDS temple?

Lesson Presentation

Ask class members if they have any questions. Are we hoping students will have done a little internet study before class? Perhaps you could address why we no longer make the Oath of Vengeance. Take the time required to answer questions to the best of your ability and as guided by the Lord’s Spirit. Good luck explaining why praying against the United States was God's way for nearly 90 years and why we haven't been doing it for the past 80 plus. Remember that some aspects of temple work must not be discussed outside the temple. Is the Oath of Vengeance one of those things? What exactly is on the list of temple elements we cannot discuss?

Each Person Should Prepare for the Temple

Explain that each person is individually responsible for taking the steps that will lead to the full blessings of the temple. OK, what are those steps? I'm guessing most kids end up getting pushed through them whether they want to or not.

Briefly discuss the following five ideas. Are these just ideas or are they the steps? Each one presents a way in which we should be prepared to enter the temple. You may want to list each point on the chalkboard as you discuss it.

1. Each person should be worthy. Please note that a discussion of worthiness never comes up when considering how much a father should offer a son or daughter. No parent denies a child because that child was "unworthy" of the gift or knowledge or assistance. If God is in fact our father, then we are all already worthy of whatever he has to offer us.

Ask the class members to read Doctrine and Covenants 97:15–17.

• What does this passage teach you about the importance of being worthy when you enter the temple? It teaches us that the Lord is very very sensitive despite his perfection and unforgiving despite having already paid for everyone's sins 2000 years ago.

President Howard W. Hunter asked us to consider the “attitudes and righteous behaviors that the Lord pointed us toward in the counsel He gave to the Kirtland Saints through the Prophet Joseph Smith as they were preparing to build a temple.”

This counsel is found in Doctrine and Covenants 88:119. Ask the class members to read this passage.

Ask the class members also to consider the question posed by President Hunter: “Are these attitudes and behaviors indeed reflective of what each of us desires and seeks to be?” (“The Great Symbol of Our Membership,” Ensign, Oct. 1994, 2). It sounds a lot more like a regular church building to me than a temple. A house of prayer? Meetinghouses see all sorts of prayers all the time. A house of fasting? Meetinghouses hold fast and testimony meetings every month. A house of faith? Meetinghouses are often where faith begins. A house of learning? There are tons of classes in meetinghouses all organized carefully by age, sex, and priesthood authority held. A house of glory? Meetinghouses are dedicated and filled with the spirit. A house of God? All LDS churches have signs saying their the Church of Jesus Christ so if he wants them they're his.

2. Each person should be humble.

Each person should enter the temple in humility, with a desire to be taught from on high. I agree. Each person should also have the courage to admit when he or she's not seeing the emperor's new clothes.

• Why is humility so important as we serve and learn in the temple? It's always a good idea when confronting something new to have an open mind and give it a chance to live up to the hype.

Have the class members read Doctrine and Covenants 136:32–33.

• What does this passage teach about the importance of humility? Apparently God only works with the ignorant. How could you apply this counsel to attending the temple for the first time? If you think the temple sucks or feels like a cult your first time through, you're probably just being a prideful, unteachable prick and God knows it.

3. Each person should understand that receiving temple ordinances and covenants is essential to gaining eternal life. I don't think Jesus would agree. He liked baptism for some reason and definitely endorsed burning animal sacrifices (but strangely not the sale of animals in the outer temple court), but there was no possible way for him to endorse the LDS temple ceremonies that were invented in the mid-1800s.

“Organize yourselves; prepare every needful thing; and establish a house, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God” (D&C 88:119). We already read this. Why are we back here again?

President Harold B. Lee said: “The temple ceremonies are designed by a wise Heavenly Father who has revealed them to us in these last days as a guide and a protection throughout our lives, that you and I might not fail to merit exaltation in the celestial kingdom where God and Christ dwell” (“Enter a Holy Temple,” Improvement Era, June 1967, 144). The moral of the temple is to wait for God's word as it comes down the line and keep doing it until God gives you new instructions. Not a bad plan, right? Now we just have to figure out how to establish what God really said. By the time we hear the message it's passed through enough people the message is as warped as anything you'd hear at the end of the telephone game. By the way, I thought all we had to do to "merit exaltation" was believe in Christ, get baptized in his name and live our lives the way he led his.

President Joseph Fielding Smith said: “These blessings insure to us, through our faithfulness, the pearl of great price the Lord has offered us, for these are the greatest blessings we can receive in this life. I didn't get pearls, I got paper spitballs. Everyone, check the pearls you receive in the temple! It is a wonderful thing to come into the Church, but you cannot receive an exaltation until you have made covenants in the house of the Lord and received the keys and authorities that are there bestowed and which cannot be given in any other place on the earth today” That's right, the top Church leaders think they have the monopoly on exaltation tickets. You pay their price if you're too lazy to shop around. (Doctrines of Salvation, comp. Bruce R. McConkie, 3 vols. [1954–56], 2:253).

4. Each person should understand the importance of wearing the temple garment.

Explain that those who have participated in the temple ceremony are privileged to wear the garment of the holy priesthood. You can't buy the cheap uncomfortable ones unless you have a temple recommend or get lucky on ebay. Otherwise you're stuck buying the more comfy expensive ones. In a statement to the Church, the First Presidency said:

“Church members who have been clothed with the garment in the temple have made a covenant to wear it throughout their lives. Because God is extremely interested in your underwear. This has been interpreted to mean that it is worn as underclothing both day and night. No more sleeping naked, kids! …

“The fundamental principle ought to be to wear the garment and not to find occasions to remove it. Stop looking for opportunities to go to the pool or get a professional massage. Those days are over. … When the garment must be removed, … it should be restored as soon as possible. Right after you wash up after sex. No, this IS NOT WEIRD AND CONTROLLING! :S

“The principles of modesty and keeping the body appropriately covered are implicit in the covenant and should govern the nature of all clothing worn. God, your creator, doesn't want you guys seeing each other. It's... bad... because... ew! Right? Endowed members of the Church wear the garment as a reminder of the sacred covenants they have made with the Lord and also as a protection against temptation and evil. The rest of use have to be happy with CTR rings. How it is worn is an outward expression of an inward commitment to follow the Savior” Yes, an outward expression worn inwardly so no one on the outside can see it. Don't let your Gs hang out, brothers and sisters. (First Presidency letter, 10 Oct. 1988).

5. Each person should be prepared for personal and sacred worship. Not public and profane worship.

In the temple, before, during, and after the ceremonies, there are opportunities for a person to meditate and to draw closer to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. But let's be honest, if it's private meditation you want you should probably stay home or go somewhere quiet where you don't have to spend two hours playing dress up and watching an annoying movie in snippets. Everyone is faced with questions that need answers, with burdens that need lightening, with problems that need to be solved. Many have appreciated the temple as a place to get away from the world and to communicate with Heavenly Father. Many have found answers, peace, and joy in the temple. I'm sure this is true for some, it's also true that many have not found answers, nor peace, nor joy in the temple.

President Ezra Taft Benson said: “Temples are places of personal revelation. I never received any and I always went to the temple with a specific question I needed answered. Maybe my questions were no good. When I have been weighed down by a problem or a difficulty, I have gone to the House of the Lord with a prayer in my heart for answers. These answers have come in clear and unmistakable ways” Lucky for you. (“What I Hope You Will Teach Your Children about the Temple,” Ensign, Aug. 1985, 8).

Explain that in the temple, we can submit the names of those who have special needs so that those who attend the temple can unite their faith and prayers in behalf of these people. It's a lot like the Care Bear stare.

Special Preparations for the First Temple Visit

The following information will help each person make all necessary preparations for the first temple visit and ensure that this visit is uplifting. Discuss with class members the information that applies to their circumstances. Alright! Some practical information!

1. Temple Recommend. Obtain a temple recommend. Be sure to carry your recommend with you to the temple, since only those with valid recommends may enter. Unfortunately, the Church doesn't trust you to diagnose yourself as worthy or not, so they make you confess your faith to the bishop and stake president. As you live worthily, the recommend will allow you to enter any temple of the Church as often as you wish during the next two years. To renew your temple recommend, you must be interviewed by a member of your bishopric or your branch president and a member of your stake presidency or the mission president.
   
2. Planning and Scheduling the Visit. Before you go to the temple to receive the endowment or the sealing ordinance, call the temple to make an appointment. It's a bit like the doctor's office in a way. Find out when you need to arrive at the temple, how long you should plan to stay, and what you should take with you. OK, maybe it's more like going off to spend a day with your aunt. Ask for translation assistance if necessary. Your aunt who maybe speaks another language.
   
3.   Travel Plans. If you live a long distance from the temple, you should consider the following:
   
   • Make transportation, lodging, and eating arrangements in advance. It may be to your advantage to travel with a group if possible. Group tours tend to be cheaper.
     
   • If necessary, make arrangements to exchange your money into the currency of the country where the temple is located. If you need to be told this, you're definitely at a good intellectual level to feel like you've learned something at the temple.
     
   • Take sufficient funds to cover all expenses. You may need to purchase additional garments, rent temple clothing, and pay for lodging and travel. (Note that rental clothing is not available in many temples. The First Presidency encourages all members to purchase their own temple clothing.) Apart from the bit about temple clothing rental, you shouldn't have to be told any of this.
     
4. Dress. Plan to dress as you would when attending Sunday meetings. Women should not wear pants to the temple. The Lord has a no pant's policy for women. He HATES pants on women. So gross!
   
5. Escorts. All who are going to the temple for the first time may have an escort to accompany them. No, not THAT kind of escort!! This can be a relative or friend of the same gender who has previously been to the temple, or one of the temple workers may assist. Workers in the temple will offer friendly guidance at all times. Your temple escort is the one who makes sure you don't fuck up too badly your first time through. Of course fuck ups could be avoided if the Church let new initiates practice the temple stuff a bit before they go, but that's just not the way God wants it.
   
6. Sealing Work. If you plan to do sealing work for your deceased ancestors, you should take completed family group records with you to the temple. Good to know. If you and your spouse are to be sealed or if you are going to have children sealed to you, you must have your own family group record. OK. If you are going to be married, you will need to comply with all local civil laws and bring a valid marriage license with you. Ah. Read carefully the Member’s Guide to Temple and Family History Work for more detailed information about how to provide temple ordinances for both the living and the dead. You may also contact the temple recorder at the temple you are planning to visit. OK then.
   
7. Care of Children. If children are coming to the temple to participate in a sealing ceremony, they will be cared for in the temple youth center until it is time for them to join you in the sealing room. What and who is in that room with my children? White clothing for the ceremony will be provided for the children. Who dresses them? After the sealing ceremony is completed, they will return to the center to wait for you. What do they do there while they're waiting? No care is provided at the temple for children not involved in a sealing. The temple's not a daycare, people!
   
8. Temple Garments. You will need to buy one or two pairs of temple garments before you enter the temple. Do not put them on before you go to the temple. Or they'll turn black and Satan will hide in your genitals for a few months. After receiving your endowment and when you are satisfied that you have identified the desirable size and fabric, you can purchase additional pairs of garments. So if your first pairs don't fit, too bad for you! Some people like to wash their initial pair of garments to make sure they fit comfortably before purchasing others. Good idea. And good luck finding comfortable ones. Temple garments are manufactured by the Church and may be purchased through Church Distribution Services. Or over at Mormon Secret.
   
   “The temple ceremonies are designed by a wise Heavenly Father … that you and I might not fail to merit exaltation in the celestial kingdom” That design has changed a lot over the years by wiser human beings, though. Believe me, if you had to do the shit they did a hundred years ago you would not be well pleased. (President Harold B. Lee).
9. Temple Clothing. The First Presidency has encouraged members to purchase and use their own temple clothing. In some temples it is possible to rent temple clothing for a small fee, but it is preferable for members to own and maintain their own temple clothing. It's less hassle for the Church that way. The bishop or branch president can provide information about where this clothing may be purchased. Good to know.
   Sisters may wear their wedding dresses for their temple wedding, but the dress must be white, have long sleeves, be modest in design and fabric, have no train, and be free from elaborate ornamentation. The Lord hates all the worldly fashiony bullshit in his house. It deeply offends him. We don't know why he's so sensitive. Sorry. 

Heavenly Father's going to be so mad when he sees you in here dressed like a slut!

Conclusion

Share your testimony of the sacredness of temple work. Say whatever comes to mind. Nothing comes to mind? Fine, just say "I want to share my testimony with each and everyone of you that the "work" we do in the temple is extremely sacred. There's nothing more sacred on earth. Nothing. Not clean air and water. Not the pure love of a child. Nothing. Wearing funny clothes, learning handshakes, and repeating bizarre passwords is as good as we get in this life. It's true, I promise. In the name of Joshua the Oiled One, amen! Express your happiness in seeing the class members prepare to enter the temple. Just say "I'm so happy and excited for you! This is so great! I'm so happy! This is really wonderful!"

Following this lesson, class participants and instructors should attend the temple together where possible. Oh boy! I just wish we would have covered more...

Tom Perry criticized

LDS apostle LTP (L. Tom Perry) has recently lost a few potential LGB friends earlier this month when in a talk about "traditional" marriage and family he spoke out against the non-traditional.

"We [the leaders of the LDS Church] want our voice to be heard against all of the counterfeit and alternative lifestyles that try to replace the family organization that God Himself established," says he.

In case you didn't get that, let me say it another way, unless you're family is headed by just one person with a penis followed up by just one other person with a vagina, YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG. Thus sayeth an apostle of God. But everyone already knows that the LDS Church has been trying to keep gay marriage from legalization. My impression is that LTP simply pulled the wrong straw when everyone was getting assigned topics for General Conference this year because typically Perry doesn't have much of a reputation for saying offensive things. Most of what we remember him for falls into the category of "Same Old Same Old," probably because he cowedly bends to authority rather than daring to go out on a limb and say something unique enough to shock anyone.

Whatever the case may be, L. Tom, you've heaped shame upon thine own head this Conference season. Fortunately for you, your lesson to learn is an easy one:

In conclusion, let's learn to love one another better. Let's stand by each other's side in strengthening home life wherever and whenever love is the foundation that home.

Johnny "Gone Rotten" Dehlin & Kate "Machine Gun" Kelly

Well members of the LDS Church can now officially hate John Dehlin and Kate Kelly, two horrible people advocating for the fair treatment of gays and women in the Church, because just a few days ago they were both informed via post that their heads are going to roll! That's right! Excommunication, that most glorious of loving practices!

Sorry, John and Kate, but we will not tolerate your evil liberal ways. We hope you have fun getting shit on by your family and community from here on out because you now wear the sign of the Beast on your brow. Or maybe try repenting or something. Show us how sorry you are. We love that shit!

And for all you assholes out there who actually like what John and Kate have done, REPENT YE MOTHERFUCKERS, FOR THE CHURCH OF GOD IS PISSED! You have now been given a fair warning with the examples of John and Kate that love and compassion are not enough. The same goes for you followers of brother Waterman, too! (Sister Colvin, you might be next!) Mend your ways or you might be next! (Unless you don't have enough people listening to you, in that case let all your crazy out whenever you feel like it.)

In efforts to clarify the situation the Church has released an explanation of sorts. I just have a few questions about this press release. Did John and Kate really do this to themselves or isn't it really the Church doing the excommunicating? When can we expect our leaders to clarify John and Kate's false teachings? What exactly have they said that is so horribly incongruous with LDS doctrine? And is the "door" really and truly "always open" to people who are excommunicated? I thought there was policy that getting excommunicated twice locks that door for the rest of your mortal existence. Dieter, can you help us with any of these questions and doubts? 

Truly this is God's work, I solemnly declare, in the name of Greasy J, amen.

In college and doubting?

BYU Magazine has joined the fray when it comes to offering advice on tackling doubts.

Unlike the advice recently offered for teens, this one's actually not all bad. It encourages parents to embrace the doubter, engage in respectful conversation, avoid shutdown language, get educated on the issues causing doubt and admit when they don't know something.

Maybe ignorance on these topics is why parents - and Mormons at large - have developed such strong negative responses to doubting and questioning which has in turn created a culture in which members with doubts often feel isolated.

Professor Rachel Cope (cited in the article) rightly points out that “If parents are fearful of the questions, that could feed the crisis because it implies something’s wrong. If they can’t even go there, their children will assume there must be a real issue. There needs to be less fear and more willingness to talk.”

I'm not going to say there aren't real issues in the LDS Church and its doctrine, but I wholeheartedly agree that "there needs to be less fear and more willingness to talk."

Court of Love

Church discipline is an interesting thing. Typically it involves an offending member and the offender's bishop working things out as quietly as possible. There might be a temporary probation enacted on certain types of participation, but the idea is that the offender has time to work through the repentance process fully and arrive at a good place spiritually. The works of God and His Church are sacred and not to be defamed by those who cannot or will not respect them.

Disciplinary councils, or "courts of love" are much more serious. They typically address weightier matters that might warrant excommunication. Typically those matters have to deal with sexual indiscretion, apostasy, and occasionally the mishandling of tithes.

Coming down hard on local leaders embezzling tithing funds seems appropriate. No one should be taking monies intended to assist in the cause of Jesus and use them for personal or worldly gain. (Then again, we have no idea what the LDS Church is actually doing with the money even when it does make it past the local leadership.)

Matters of sexual indiscretion come in all shapes and sizes so it's hard to come up with any single example that can fully illustrate all of the issues at stake. I'm all for finding out who in the Church is sexually abusive, who is offending the law (as in the case of child porn), and getting the right counseling for anyone seeking to overcome hurtful sexual practices. Where courts of love become questionable lies more in the nature of the court itself. You have the offender facing off alone to a bishop, a stake president, and fifteen high counselors (all of whom are men). That's one against seventeen. Often an unknowing spouse is involved, in which case there could very well be an unpleasant surprise in store - a surprise that the spouse gets to sort out in front of eighteen people who know more about the matter than he or she does. Sexual matters are delicate and can contribute to deep embarrassment and shame. Does a wife hearing about her husband's sexual escapades for the first time deserve to hear it in front of nearly twenty men, some of them neighbors?

Potential apostates are another tricky matter. You have all kinds of unorthodox thought and practice to address from something people who think the Church has derailed to self-proclaimed prophets who are seeking followers. You also have people who run into difficult problems with what the Church claims and are asking for answers. Asking hard questions doesn't go over well in disciplinary councils. You're supposed to be humble and let the Church remold you.

I think the only reason I didn't have a problem with this in the past was because 1) I believed in keeping the Church safe from apostates and 2) I didn't know what kind of shit went down in these disciplinary councils. In my mind, anyone dragged into a court of love was going to get what they deserved! Nearly twenty inspired men can't be wrong, can they? How often do these courts turn around to blame the victim? You should have learned to be more sexually satisfying! You shouldn't have started investigating Church history! You should have doubted your doubts, not your faith!

Or the children's crusade

Mormon boys in their late teens are expected to dedicate two years of their lives to proselytizing for the LDS Church as missionaries. It's a right of passage. It's proof of conviction. It's a badge of honor. It's a sign of marriageability. It's a test of leadership capability. It's something most young men feel significant pressure to do and be successful at.

The Church has recently found a way to amp up the pressure one feels to serve a mission by lowering the age of service for men from 19 to 18. What this means in the context of the United States is that now, instead of discussing which universities you're applying to or where you've decided to go, high school seniors will be talking about whether or not they've put in their mission papers (the application to go on a mission) and where they've been assigned to serve the Church.

In other words, the decision to serve is now made at an even younger, more impressionable age more squarely within the dynamics of peer pressure instead of being made after about a year of higher education and significant social distancing from friends and family. It's stands to reason that the Church is probably trying to increase the percentage of young men serving missions (about 30% in the U.S.)

The demographic that typically goes undiscussed in church is the 70% of young men who aren't going and they young men who return early from their missions for one reason or another. On an anecdotal note, my close friends who did not serve missions have all explained the shame and ostracism they experienced as a result of staying home. Those who come home early share those same feelings.

Isn't their a more inspired way? Couldn't Jesus instruct the Church leadership in the creation of a more flexible and loving program that would allow everyone to participate without all the baggage of social pressure and shame? Is this really how God wants his work carried out? Is this really how we want to treat our children?

Chastity - better off dead

When I ran across Heber Grant's comment about "losing" your chastity in the Church manual Gospel Principles I nearly threw up. I read it again hoping I had misunderstood. I read it again because I couldn't believe the words. And again because it still wasn't sinking in. I couldn't imagine any loving parent of any faith tradition believing this kind of bullshit:

"There is no true Latter-day Saint who would not rather bury a son or a daughter than to have him or her lose his or her chastity – realizing that chastity is of more value than anything else in all the world.”

Words of a prophet, people. A modern-day one. This is the kind of enlightenment God has graced his latter-day saints with. Not only should your child be slut shamed, but you as a parent should wish they had died.

Today if you pick up a copy of Gospel Doctrines you won't find this quote (it was removed for the 2006 English edition, if I'm not mistaken), but the this comment and others like it have been spoken, printed, and spread around the Church for decades. I cannot imagine the kind of damage this has caused both parents and children.

I hated this concept. Guilty of sexual indiscretion? You'd be better off dead. Raped? You'd be better off dead. Who says so? The prophets of God. Who cares? Your parents, your siblings, your grandparents, your aunts and uncles, your cousins, your friends, your friends' parents, your bishop, your youth leaders, and anyone else who is truly Mormon.

   
The only way I managed to put this one on my shelf was by reminding me that most everyone I cared about probably didn't believe this and they seemed like decent Mormons to me. This was just an old idea, outdated now that we better understand Christ's loving atonement, right?

Libido

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

The temple - the movie

I had yet another serious doubt about my place in Mormonism when the temple film started up. I heard there was a film, but seriously? SERIOUSLY? When the reality of it hit - that I was sitting in a movie theater dressed like an asshole - I felt deeply embarrassed, like I had been tricked into being there. It was definitely more anti-climactic than my baptism for the fact that there had been so much hype around the mind-blowingness of the temple.

Behind the curtains... a movie screen!

The temple movie is horrible. It's an unintentially campy spin off of the Creation story. I can't believe anyone can sit through this crap regularly for years on end. You have a silly, big, booming God voice narrating the creation, landscape shots that seem to move between the awe inspiring aesthetics of a nature program and the kitsch of Thomas Kinkade sunsets, Adam and Eve wandering about a stage garden with foliage covering their waists and crotches, crows cawing whenever Satan enters or exits a scene, cheesy lines, and bad acting. It's absolutely awful stuff and yet it's supposedly the tool God uses to teach us His greatest secrets.

 Michael Ballam steals the show as Satan

I wasn't convinced, but I shut my critical eye and convinced myself that the Church didn't have to win the Palm d'or at Cannes to be true. I needed to pay attention to the information, not the film making. This was holy stuff I was watching. I mean really sacred stuff. So I doubted my doubts and watched on.

By way of post script let me clarify that there were two movies by the time I went through and they were both horrible, then they dropped one a few years back only to introduce a new film version this year which I haven't seen (I've read that it's now more Lord of the Rings-esque!). There's also the non-film version of the ceremony that requires temple workers to reenact the drama. Essentially all of my Mormon friends, active and inactive, say the live session is way better than the movie, and I'm sure they're right. But it's still totally inane bullshit.