Sunday, November 17, 2013

Jesus killing things

Remember when Jesus gets pissed off at a fig tree for not having any figs for him to eat so he curses the tree and it dies? Was that not weird? Why would the Son of God, Creator of the Universe, Savior of the World expect a fig tree to have figs in early spring? Why would a perfectly loving demi-god/god-god (however that's all supposed to work) allow his hunger to piss him off enough to curse a tree to death? How un-Christ-like of Jesus!

And previously to this little episode of wrath there was that extremely unsettling moment (maybe the scariest in all the New Testament) when Jesus transfers the legion of demons possessing a dude into a herd of pigs and makes them jump off a cliff. "My name is Legion, for we are many!" has to be the scariest lines spoken by any Bible character, but Jesus' behavior is pretty scary too. Why does he, the Master of the Universe, have to kill anything? Why couldn't he, The Final Judge, just catapult the evil spirits into Outer Darkness? How the hell can the spirits of our brothers and sisters who chose Satan's side exist in a pig's body anyway? Could Jesus send my soul into an animal body if he wanted to? And why, if Legion was able to occupy one human body, did it require a whole herd of pigs? Couldn't Jesus have sent all of the evil spirits into one pig and then sent that one demonic pig toppling over the cliff to his death all by his lonesome thereby saving the swineherd a lot of stress? What happens to those spirits after the pigs die, by the way? Are they supposedly trapped in pig flesh? Are they freed of their fleshy tabernacle to once again roam the earth tormenting the souls of man? Either way I hope Jesus had the decency to fully compensate the swineherd for his huge loss.

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