The "M" word

I have to admit I get annoyed whenever I see Mormons become defensive over the use of the word "Mormon". You see comments pop up like "That's not the name of the Church!" "Why don't you do your research!" or "It's just a nickname btw!" Getting the name of the Church wrong or referring to its members incorrectly means everything that uninformed individual said is incorrect and probably anti-Mormon. Never mind that latter-day saints do in fact refer to the Church as the "Mormon Church" and don't colloquially refer to members of the Church as saints. They only very rarely refer to members as saints and when they do it's typically heard in the expression "the early saints" which is kind of weird considering that those "early" folks were pretty sure they were all latter-day and shit.

Members of the LDS Church call themselves Mormons, I promise. We can say "Mormon" but everyone else had better mind the "M" word! But I have to admit that as an active member I definitely thought it was a smart move when the LDS Church started insisting more and more that people use its official name. (Although I also thought it would have made more sense had they  emphasized that they had wanted to be called the Church of Jesus Christ, not the LDS Church, but whatever.)

Who cares? What's the big deal? All groups have insider-outsider language, right?

Probably, yes. What I found (and still find) disturbing, however, is the way in which Mormons look for tiny mistakes in the things outsiders say in order to dismiss their arguments while going to great lengths to dismiss or ignore mistakes and inconsistencies made by their leaders. The tradition goes all the way back to Joseph Smith (but I don't believe Tom's had the same kind of slip ups as Gordon).

Jesus warned against this scenario (if you're into Jesus).

Why is this OK? Why do the prophets get a free pass on bad information while everyone else gets hosed for simple and often superficial mistakes?

Flora Ann Woodworth (Smith) Grove - wife #20

Joseph Smith's third teenaged bride was Flora Woodworth (November 14, 1826 - ca. 1850). The two met through Flora's father, Lucien, who was the architect of the Nauvoo House hotel. She was all of sixteen years old (and likely a virgin) when she married the prophet early in 1843.

William Clayton

Joseph seems to have been very excited about Flora and, according to William Clayton, met with her fairly regularly. He even gave her some bling: a gold watch.

The marriage complicated life for at least a few people. Emma found out about the relationship (no, she hadn't given her permission) and the gold watch, found Flora, bitched her out, and demanded the watch back. Joseph tried to reprimand her and got hell in return. Upon returning from a mission, Orange Wight, Flora's would be suitor, found out about the marriage and stopped his pursuit. He was nineteen.

Still not used to it, Emma?

After Joseph's assassination Flora married a non-member named Carlos Grove, with whom she had three children (but none with Joseph). She confessed to Helen Mar Kimball that marrying a non-member had caused regrettable ostracization in the Mormon community. The Groves tried to move out to Utah, but Flora died en route. She was in her mid-twenties.

You're out!

Excommunication is a funny thing. The Church is supposedly for everyone - as in EVERY SINGLE HUMAN BEING EVER BORN OR TO BE BORN ON EARTH NEEDS BOTH THE GOSPEL AND THE ORDINANCES FOUND ONLY IN THE LDS CHURCH - and yet there are those times when you just have to take your neighbor aside and say:

"Hey, Jesus loves you and died for you, but you can't be in his church anymore because we say so!"

Everyone's supposed to fit in, but apparently we need to kick some people out anyway. This is kind of the way Jesus wants it.

Let's be practical here. You can't let that new convert dude keep standing up and flipping off the first councilor whenever he takes the stand, can you? And I know there's room for the lady who likes to teach that dinosaur fossils were placed on the earth by the Devil to deceive the hearts of man, but can we honestly sit by and let a Sunday School teacher admit that she thinks green tea is harmless and that the Church should change its policy about tea drinking?

What are the limits of heterodoxy and heteropraxy? What are the Church's limits? Who's out? We can't all be in.

The universal gospel

 
It was not an easy thing to admit, but I eventually came to realize that there are people the Church and the Gospel cannot “help.” Why? Because some people are entirely incapable of understanding, let alone conforming to, the logic and lifestyle of Mormonism. Or maybe they do understand it but it strikes them as absolutely ridiculous.

This doesn't sit well with Mormons because we've been taught that "the Gospel is simple" and logical and that "the Church is for everyone." I can't tell you how many people I met on my mission who just couldn't put everything in place. Mormonism just wouldn't click for them. Then there were those people who I knew could never fully function with a dominantly Mormon world view. Their lives, their thoughts, their concerns, their raisons d'etre won't fit.

Could it be that Mormonism wasn't as universal as I believed? How much did I owe my understanding to decades of training and conditioning? Even then, how much sense did Mormonism make to me?

I was sure I had it all figured out and all the pieces put together. Except for those ever so small, ever so occasional doubts - the one's I knew I had to doubt.