Polygamy - difficult tasks

The LDS Church's recent explanation of polygamy in Nauvoo makes it clear that God's pretty much a horrible communicator and very much a dick.

Although the Lord commanded the adoption—and later the cessation—of plural marriage in the latter days, He did not give exact instructions on how to obey the commandment. [...] When God commands a difficult task, He sometimes sends additional messengers to encourage His people to obey. Consistent with this pattern, Joseph told associates that an angel appeared to him three times between 1834 and 1842 and commanded him to proceed with plural marriage when he hesitated to move forward. During the third and final appearance, the angel came with a drawn sword, threatening Joseph with destruction unless he went forward and obeyed the commandment fully.

Did you catch that? God couldn't be bothered to tell Joseph Smith what he was supposed to do exactly or why, but he was insistent enough that his prophet get with other women that he sent an angelic hit man to lean on him.

"Goddammit, Joe, you faithless fuckface, I'm gonna count the three!"

What kind of loving being would act like that? Why is that God's more than willing to lay out explicit instructions for communicating with him, ship building, tabernacle design, temple building, temple dealings and just about all aspects of our daily lives (including diet), but not for plural marriage and temple sealings?

Wait, what? He did give explicit instructions to Joseph on how to practice polygamy in 1843? Hm...

Virtue of abstaining

In the LDS Church we grow up admiring Joseph Smith for his unwavering courage and astonishing moral strength because at the age of seven he declined to drink alcohol as an anesthetic before undergoing bone surgery.

But we also grow up failing to address his willingness to imbibe alcohol as and adult, including the day he was killed.

Rather than consider what this might mean about Joseph's character, let's reflect instead on what this says about LDS culture. Why can't we be honest with ourselves about Joseph Smith's behavior? Do we think that his drinking in adulthood shows a fallen man, someone who was stronger as a seven year old? Does Joseph's drinking undermine our faith in the World of Wisdom? Will admitting that he liked alcohol somehow give members the green light to start drinking? Why can't we be honest?

General Women's Conference

'Tis the season for the parade of boring, self-important general LDS meetings. Here's a silly little something from a fellow named Joseph Rawlins.

Here's Feminist Mormon Housewives' live blog about how the meeting went.

Mormon pilgrimages

Jerusalem? Rome? Santiago? What are we, Catholics? Do we have to travel hundreds or even thousands of miles to worship an object? Not a chance. No idols for us. Leave reverencing objects to everyone else. Let the Muslims make their once in a lifetime trek to Mecca. We carry religion in our hearts. Our eternal souls worship in a walking tabernacle of flesh.

Sure, we have to be sure to make it to the temple at least once in our lives (heaven forbid we die before taking out our endowment and sealed for time and all eternity), but fortunately for everyone, the Church these days is working hard to make church and temple attendance as easy and non-pilgrimage-like as possible. With meeting houses and temples cropping up all over the globe, chances are you're no more than a couple of hours away from an LDS place of worship.

Of course that doesn't stop us from making distant religious journeys in order to prove our spirituality, pay our respects to our forebearers and prove to our neighbors that the Church is the most important thing in our life. Who among us doesn't feel a slight tinge of guilt for not having humbly offered a prayer of gratitude for Joseph Smith in the Sacred Grove? Who among us hasn't felt some degree of urgency that our sons and daughters experience the spiritual banquet to be had on Heritage Tours? How else will they gain a testimony in their youth? The Kirkland temple, the Nauvoo temple, the temple site in Missouri, we just have to see them.

And why stop at the locations that have actual Mormon history? Why not make up some new sites for Book of Mormon tours? Heartland model believers, we've got you covered too! It doesn't matter if it's all bullshit. You really have to see it for yourself!

 

Most amazing of all is Salt Lake City! Come listen to a prophet's voice at General Conference! Come on! You believe he's a prophet, right? You love him, right? You have a testimony that he's God's mouthpiece, right? So show us your conviction! Come, come, ye saints! Come!

Fanny Young Murray (Smith) - wife #36

Fanny Young (November 8, 1787 - June 11, 1859) was Brigham Young's older sister. She took on much of the responsibility for raising her younger siblings after her mother died in 1815. She was also close to the Kimball family and young Helen referred to her as Aunt Fanny.

Fanny married Heber Kimball's father-in-law, Roswell Murray, in 1832, the same year she and other members of the Young family joined the Church. Roswell, however, did not join, but he still moved with the saints to Kirtland, Missouri, and then Nauvoo, where he fell ill and died in 1839.

Fanny's marriage to Joseph Smith was extremely abrupt. She found herself disagreeing with Brigham and Joseph in a conversation about the necessity of plural marriage in order to reach the highest glory of the Celestial Kingdom, and Joseph rebutted her expressed desire to simply be an administering angel with "you talk very foolishly, you do not know what you will want" and followed that up by having Brigham seal her to him then and there.

To me the story reads as an example of how Joseph liked to flash his prophetic mantle and shoot to close the sale quickly. Fanny's marriage to the prophet comes across as yet another example of how Joseph was good at pressuring people to reassert himself and get what he wanted.

Unlike many of the other plural wives, Fanny was not resealed to Joseph in the Nauvoo temple following his murder.

Nancy Mariah Winchester (Smith) Kimball Arnold - wife #35

Nancy Winchester (August 10, 1828 - March 17, 1876) moved to Kirtland with her recently converted parents and older brother at the age of about five. She herself was likely baptized three years later at the "age of accountability." The Winchesters later moved to Missouri, but by 1842 were in Nauvoo.

Nancy was fourteen or fifteen when she was secretly married to Joseph Smith. When he died, she and other wives of Joseph were married to Heber Kimball. Nancy separated from Heber and married Amos George Arnold after arriving in Utah. They had one son, George, together.

Melissa Lott (Smith) Bernhisel Willes - wife #34

Melissa Lott (January 9, 1824 - July 13, 1898) moved with her family to Nauvoo in 1842. Her father, Cornelius, managed the Smith family farm a couple of miles south of town. Melissa soon moved in with the Smiths and helped out with Joseph and Emma's children. She moved back home as a single teen.

Then, towards the end of June, 1843, Joseph sent an entourage of secret wives to convince Melissa that she needed to marry him. Eliza Snow, Elvira Holmes, Elizabeth Durfee, and Elizabeth Whitney (mother of one of Joseph's teenage wives, Sarah Ann Whitney) dropped by the Lott farm for a chat.

Nineteen-year-old Melissa was secretly married to Joseph in September. Her parents were present as Melissa and Joseph vowed to keep themselves "wholly for each other" in the capacity of husband and wife. Melissa later confirmed that she was Joseph's wife "in very deed," which is to say they had sex. She even returned to the Smith home that winter. I wonder if Emma noticed anything.

Less than year after Joseph was murdered, Melissa married again, this time to a man named John Milton Bernhisel. Three years later, now in Utah, she married Ira Jones Willes, with whom she had six children: Achsa, Stephen, Lyman, Ira, Cornelius, and Polly.

Melissa lost her husband and son Cornelius in 1863. Achsa and Stephen also died before reaching adulthood.

Mary Ann Frost Stearns Pratt (Smith) - wife #33

Mary Ann Pratt (January 14, 1809 - August 24, 1891) was Olive's sister. She married apostle Parley P. Pratt in 1837, four years after the death of her first husband, Nathan Stearns, and two years after joining the Mormon church.

Mary Ann, Parley, and Olive served a mission to England together from 1840 to 1843. Mary Ann returned to Nauvoo without Parley and the two divorced shortly after his later return.

Marry Ann was secretly sealed to Joseph Smith by Heber Kimball about the same time as her sister. In 1852 she moved to Utah with her children Olivia and Moroni.

Olive Grey Frost (Smith) Young - wife #32

Olive Frost (July 24, 1816 - October 6, 1845) converted to Mormonism in October 1839. Her sister, Mary Ann, had joined three years early and had married the apostle Parley P. Pratt. Olive embarked with them on a mission to England in early 1840.

In 1843, at the end of her mission, Olive and the Pratts moved to Nauvoo. There Olive stayed with Patty and David Sessions and was soon introduced to the concept of plural wifery. She was secretly married to Joseph Smith that summer.

When Joseph was killed Olive lost it. She married Brigham young in October, but died the next year.

Desdemona Wadsworth Fullmer (Smith) Benson McLane - wife #31

Desdemona Fullmer (October 6, 1809 - February 9, 1886) was a devout believer from an early age. She had her own First Vision of sorts about ten years before reading The Book of Mormon. She was praying to know which church to join when she was struck down and paralyzed by the power of God. It was in that state that a voice came to her and told her that she would have to wait a while yet before finding the true church.

Desdemona went through a lot with her fellow Mormons. Her family gathered in Kirtland and then in Missouri, where she witnessed the Haun's Mill massacre. She felt resolved to stay in Missouri and weather the persecution, but she and her family were eventually pushed out to Nauvoo in 1842.

In Nauvoo Desdemona first stayed with Joseph Smith and his family. (She most likely knew a few of Joseph's other secret wives, like Emily and Eliza Partridge, Elvira Cowles, and others) She moved out after a year without having married Joseph Smith, but that would be resolved less than six months later.

Desdemona's secret marriage to Joseph caused her to worry that Emma might find out and poison her, so obviously Joseph was not following the first wife's consent rule. On the plus side, she was probably a virgin!

Joseph was murdered less than a year later. Desdemona married Ezra Benson early on in 1846. Some time after Ezra died she married Harrison Parker McLane, with whom she had a daughter, Desdemona, who died the year she was born.

Rhoda Richards (Smith) Young - wife #30

Rhoda Richards (August 8, 1784 - January 17, 1879) makes 30 known wives for Joseph Smith by mid-June of 1843, barely a year before he would be killed. Thirty wives, people! Rhoda was nearly sixty when she married Joseph, but other wives were as young as fourteen. Joseph was having sex with a good number of these plural wives.

Age is no obstacle. Never has been.

Rhoda's brother Willard was one of Joseph's main marrying men, so perhaps it isn't too strange that she would end up married to the prophet. She was also Brigham Young's first cousin, so obviously she was well connected to the sacred inner circle of Nauvoo Mormonism.

Brother Will.

Years before becoming an old polygamous wife, Rhoda was engaged to a man named Ebenezer Damon. He was known as a good man. He had a young daughter named Susan from a previous marriage and Rhoda grew very fond of her. Unfortunately Ebenezer died young. Rhoda, who was still in her twenties at the time, was, of course, devastated. Ebenezer's death weighed heavily on her for the decades to come.

Rhoda joined the Church in the mid-1830 via Brigham Young. She moved to Nauvoo in 1842. In Nauvoo she finally met Joseph, and the following year her brother married her to Joseph in an act she seems to have understood as confirming her spot in heaven.

After Joseph was killed Rhoda married her cousin Brigham. She moved to Utah with the Brighamite saints to live out the remainder of her life.

Elvira Annie Cowles Holmes (Smith) - wife #29

Elvira Holmes (November 23, 1813 - March 10, 1871) joined the Church in 1835 at the age of 22. Her father Austin Cowles had joined earlier.

Austin moved his family to Nauvoo in 1840 where Elvira gained employment at the Smith residence.

It was there she met Joseph Smith's long time friend Jonathan Holmes, to whom she was married (by Joseph) and with whom she bore two children. Six months after her marriage to Jonathan, Elvira was sealed to Joseph. Jonathan deeply resented that his children with Elvira would be given to Joseph in the Celestial Kingdom.

Elvira's father Austin disaffected from the Church and helped with the Nauvoo Expositor, the paper denouncing Joseph's secret polygamy and contributing to the local anger felt towards Joseph.

Elvira moved out west with the saints. Her husband Jonathan married his second wife, Sarah Ingersoll Harvey Lloyd, in 1862.

Elvira died in Farmington, Utah.

Hanna S. Ells Benbow(?) (Smith) - wife #28

Hanna Ells (March 4, 1813 - ca. 1845) was an English woman who was living in Philadephia and making money as a seamstress before moving out to Nauvoo with the saints. She set up her own dressmaking business there. 

Hanna married Joseph Smith in the first half of 1843. Shortly after Joseph's death, she also died. It seems they had no children.

John Benbow later told of Josesph frequently visiting his wife "Hannah." Is this our Hanna? Was she married? Did John know what Joseph was up to? Wilford Woodruff did. He wrote of climbing to the top of the unfinished Nauvoo temple and invoking vengeance on behalf of Joseph, Hanna's husband. Not the most Christlike thing to pray for, I know.

Helen Mar Kimball (Smith) Whitney - wife #27

Helen Kimball (August 22, 1828 - November 13, 1896) was the daughter of Heber Kimball, perhaps biggest horse's dick of all the early Mormon polygamists. Heber was so fucking classy he decided it was a great idea to hand fourteen-year-old Helen - his only daughter - over to Joseph Smith as a wife. Fourteen years old! Then again, Heber would have done anything to be eternally close to Joseph. Even Helen saw that her dad was obsessed enough with being sealed to Joseph Smith and saw herself as a spotless offering on her father's behalf. (Heber stayed obsessed by the desire to be sealed to Joseph to the day he died when on his death bed he asked his wife Sarah, who was sealed to Joseph, to intercede on his behalf.)

Helen was three when her parents joined the Church. They moved to Kirtland, where Heber was ordained an apostle, in 1835. They eventually moved to Nauvoo, where they settled near the temple lot.

Heber, not Joseph, was the one to approach Helen about polygamy. He gave her 24 hours to think things over. Helen was repulsed by the idea, as was her mother, Vilate Murray, who had seen how challenging plural marriage was for other women. But this was all about Heber's salvation. Helen agreed to do it and Vilate sorrowfully consented.

Helen was Joseph's fourth teen bride in a row in less than a month. So many virgins! Yay!

I'm not sure who the hell decides to marry his friend's fourteen year old. I actually doubt it was Joseph's idea; I think it was Heber's. I also think Joseph should have told Heber to cool his fucking jets and at least give it a few more years. I don't know if Joseph slept with a Helen, but I also can't see why he wouldn't. Either way, the marriage changed Helen's life significantly. She was no longer allowed to be a young girl and enjoy her previous social life. She absolutely hated polygamy.

No dancing for you, young Mrs.!

Almost two years after Joseph was killed at Carthage jail Helen married Horace Whitney (pictured above). Helen was still sealed (in fact, resealed at the time of her marriage to Horace) to Joseph, and Horace was sealed to Elizabeth Sykes, who was dead. They had eleven children: Helen, William, Horace, Vilate, Orson, Elizabeth, Genevieve, Helen (again), Charles, Florence, Phebe.

I wonder what their eternal family will look like. Will Helen and Joseph get the kids? Will Helen and Horace? Will Horace and Elizabeth? Will they all just share? Why don't these sealings resemble our sealings today?

Not surprisingly, Helen came around to polygamy. In her later years she became an advocate for it. She died in Salt Lake City.

Sarah Lawrence (Smith) Kimball Mount - wife #25

Sarah Lawrence (May 13, 1826 - ca. 1890) and her sister Maria (December 18, 1823) were left orphans at the respective ages of 16 and 19 after moving with their parents from Canada to Nauvoo. Joseph Smith became their legal guardian and the sisters lived with the Smiths alongside Emily and Eliza Partridge. Like the Partridge sisters, Sarah and Maria were drawn into polygamy with Joseph Smith with Emma's consent. They continued living with the Smiths until Joseph's assassination.

Sarah was married to Heber Kimball, had four children, but divorced him less than a decade later. She later married Joseph Mount and started denying any connection to Joseph Smith and Heber Kimball. Her life ended in California.

Almera Woodward Johnson (Smith) Barton - wife #23

Almera Johnson (October 12, 1812 - March 4, 1896), Delcena's younger sister. Joseph Smith approached Benjamin Johnson, Almera and Delcena's brother, about plural marriage and marrying Almera at the beginning of April, 1843 during a stay with them in Macedonia, Illinois. Benjamin was shocked (apparently he had not yet found out about Delcena) but came around after hearing Joseph preach that same night about the parable of the talents.

Almera did not buy Benjamin's explanation when he nervously approached her, so Joseph had Benjamin bring her to Nauvoo, where Almera got a talking to from Joseph's brother and right hand man, Hyrum. Hyrum's endorsement tipped Almera over the edge. William Clayton married her to Joseph that same April.

Almera stayed at the Mansion House for three weeks before going back to Macedonia with Benjamin. Joseph would visit and sleep with her again there.

After Joseph's assassination Almera married Reuben Barton. They had five daughters, the third of which, Lois, was mentally impaired and cause of deep guilt for Almera, who felt she was being punished by God for marrying again.

Almera separated from Reuben in 1860. She died in Parawan, Utah.

Eliza Maria Partridge (Smith) Lyman - wife #22

Eliza Partridge (April 20, 1820 - 1885), the older and less attractive sister of Emily Partridge, only found out about the principle of plural marriage after moving in with the Smiths following her father's passing. Eliza and Emily were approached by Elizabeth Durfee, another of Joseph's secret wives, and they give in - Emily because she was lured into the Kimball home and pressured, Eliza because... because... I don't know. Maybe she saw that her sister went through with it, remembered, Elizabeth's talk, and reasoned that Joseph could not possibly be doing anything inappropriate. Either way she joined in the game within a week of her sister Emily, and, like Emily, was kicked out of the house once Emma hit her limit.

Following Joseph's death, Eliza married Amasa Mason Lyman, a member of the First Presidency at the time, not to mention a polygamist. His third wife, Caroline Partridge, was Eliza and Emily's sister (Eliza was his fourth). Another sister, Lydia, would become his eighth and final wife.

Eliza had a baby on her way west, but that child died. She had another child before arriving in Utah. She had five children in all.

Amasa was later excommunicated for apostasy and the Partridge sisters left him. Eliza remarried.

Eliza, who had been so disgusted by polygamy in her early twenties, spend her later years as an activist for polygamy.

Read her autobiography here.

Emily Dow Partridge (Smith) Young - wife #21

Emily Partridge (February 28, 1824 - 1899) ended up nannying for the Smiths after her father, Edward Partridge, bishop of Nauvoo, died in 1840. A year in Joseph asked Emily if she would be willing to read a secret letter and then burn it. She wouldn't.

Not long after that Elizabeth Durfee stepped in and had a sit down with Emily and her sister Eliza. The topic? Plural marriage.

Joseph approached Emily again on her nineteenth birthday, this time with words she couldn't decline to hear. Days later Elizabeth approached Emily again and send her to meet Joseph at Heber Kimball's home. It was a plot to get Joseph married to her right then and there. Heber's two children were sent to the neighbor's house and Emily was to leave with them, only she was immediately called back with loud whispers. She found herself alone with Joseph and Heber. Joseph explained that God had given her to him. She decided it best to go along with things and marry Joseph. The newly weds didn't consummate their marriage that night, but did sleep together on various occasions afterward.

This, people, sounds like an abduction, not a holy covenant. It resembles abuse, not love.

As usual the marriage took place without Emma's knowledge or permission. Joseph then used the temple endowment oath of wifely obedience to her husband to leverage Emma into accepting plural marriage. Emma was endowed only after accepting the Partridge sisters as sister wives and standing witness to a second farcical wedding.

 Denounce your husband and lose your crown? I think not!

Emma's acceptance of the situation did not last long. She eventually sent Emily and Eliza out of the house.

After Joseph's assassination Emily married Brigham Young, with whom she had seven children.

You can read her autobiography here.

Flora Ann Woodworth (Smith) Grove - wife #20

Joseph Smith's third teenaged bride was Flora Woodworth (November 14, 1826 - ca. 1850). The two met through Flora's father, Lucien, who was the architect of the Nauvoo House hotel. She was all of sixteen years old (and likely a virgin) when she married the prophet early in 1843.

William Clayton

Joseph seems to have been very excited about Flora and, according to William Clayton, met with her fairly regularly. He even gave her some bling: a gold watch.

The marriage complicated life for at least a few people. Emma found out about the relationship (no, she hadn't given her permission) and the gold watch, found Flora, bitched her out, and demanded the watch back. Joseph tried to reprimand her and got hell in return. Upon returning from a mission, Orange Wight, Flora's would be suitor, found out about the marriage and stopped his pursuit. He was nineteen.

Still not used to it, Emma?

After Joseph's assassination Flora married a non-member named Carlos Grove, with whom she had three children (but none with Joseph). She confessed to Helen Mar Kimball that marrying a non-member had caused regrettable ostracization in the Mormon community. The Groves tried to move out to Utah, but Flora died en route. She was in her mid-twenties.

Ruth Daggett Vose Sayers (Smith) - wife #19

Ruth Sayers (February 26, 1808 - 1884) was an upholsterer from Boston. She was baptized there by Brigham Young in 1836, about four years after she had first heard of the Mormons. While living in Boston she donated significantly to the Kirtland temple construction.

Ruth married Edward Sayers in 1841 and the couple soon headed to Nauvoo. In August of the following year, Ruth got to know Joseph Smith better when he stayed with the Sayers for a week while hiding from the law. Ruth and Joseph were married six months later.

Ruth stayed living with Edward in Nauvoo and for the rest of her life. After Joseph's death the Sayers moved back to Boston for a few years before moving out to Utah.