LDS FAQ - "Masonry and the Temple"

I found a brief Church-sanctioned (I believe) explanation of the LDS temple's relationship to Freemasonry. I'm curious what it says. Text found here.

Students of both Mormonism and Freemasonry have pondered possible relationships between Masonic rites and the LDS temple ceremony. Although some argue that Joseph Smith borrowed elements of Freemasonry in developing the temple ceremony, the Endowment is more congruous with LDS scriptures (especially the book of Abraham and the Book of Moses) and ancient ritual than with Freemasonry. Both the book of Abraham and the Book of Moses are texts Joseph made up out of thin air, so I personally don't see why anyone would feel better knowing that they've influenced the creation of the LDS temple ceremonies. Pointing out that the temple has more more in common with those writings than with Freemasonry still doesn't justify the presence of Masonic oaths and handshakes in the temple. Latter-day Saints view the ordinances as a revealed restoration of ancient temple ceremony and only incidentally related to Freemasonry. There's no good reason to think the LDS temple ceremonies are ancient and I'm looking forward to seeing how you continue to downplay the influence of Freemasonry. The two are not antithetical, however, nor do they threaten each other, and neither institution discourages research regarding the ancient origins of their two ceremonies. The origins of Freemasonry are not ancient at all, they are medieval, late medieval. Many sacred ceremonies existed in the ancient world. Modified over centuries, these rituals existed in some form among ancient Egyptians, Coptic Christians, Israelites, and Masons, and in the Catholic and Protestant liturgies. Is this written for 6th graders? I can't believe you dared list the Masons in this group. And Egyptians? WTF? Which Egyptians are you talking about? Common elements include the wearing of special clothing, ritualistic speech, the dramatization of archetypal themes, instruction, and the use of symbolic gestures. Levi Strauss would be so proud to read this, but aren't these elements too broad to be taken seriously in this particular discussion of Freemasonry in the LDS temple? One theme common to many—found in the Egyptian Book of the Dead, the Egyptian pyramid texts, and Coptic prayer circles, for example—is man's journey through life and his quest, following death, to successfully pass the sentinels guarding the entrance to eternal bliss with the gods. Right, Thor and all his buddies in Valhalla. Though these ceremonies vary greatly, significant common points raise the possibility of a common remote source. Human psychology most likely. Mormon wishful thinking knows no ends.
 

The Egyptian pyramid texts, for example, feature six main themes: (1) emphasis on a primordial written document behind the rites; (2) purification (including anointing, lustration, and clothing); (3) the Creation (resurrection and awakening texts); (4) the garden (including tree and ritual meal motifs); (5) travel (protection, a ferryman, and Osirian texts); and (6) ascension (including victory, coronation, admission to heavenly company, and Horus texts). Oh my god, that's so... DIFFERENT from the Mormon temple! Wow. Like such ancient ceremonies, the LDS temple Endowment presents aspects of these themes in figurative terms. Only if you're working in the most sympathetic of generalizations. It, too, presents, not a picture of immediate reality, but a model setting forth the pattern of human life on earth and the divine plan of which it is part. We're going to need some actual details here. It sounds like you're seeing what you want to see. It's called confirmation bias.
 
Masonic ceremonies are also allegorical, depicting life's states—youth, manhood, and old age—each with its associated burdens and challenges, followed by death and hoped-for immortality. The difference between your argument for the temple paralleling an Egyptian Book of Breathings and the Freemason ceremonies is that Joseph actually knew Masons and became one himself. On the other hand, he had no understanding of Egyptian despite having purchased a scroll containing a book of breathings. He feigned a translation that is laughable to today's Egyptologists. There is no universal agreement concerning when Freemasonry began. Maybe not, but no one can seriously claim it pre-dates the late Middle Ages. Some historians trace the order's origin to Solomon, Enoch, or even Adam. Only Mormon historians. Others argue that while some Masonic symbolism may be ancient, as an institution it began in the Middle Ages or later. Only everyone who isn't Mormon thinks this.
 
Though in this dispensation the LDS Endowment dates from Kirtland and Nauvoo, Latter-day Saints believe that temple ordinances are as old as man and that the essentials of the gospel of Jesus Christ, including its necessary ritual and teachings, were first revealed to Adam. Mormons have no basis for believing this other than the fact that Joseph Smith, a notorious conman, taught it to his followers and it has been believed and repeated for generations. These saving principles and ordinances were subsequently revealed to Seth; Noah; Melchizedek; Abraham, and each prophet to whom the priesthood was given, including Peter. There is no historical evidence to convince us most of these men ever existed (Peter is the exception) and much less evidence that they ever practiced the ceremonies of the current LDS temples. Latter-day Saints believe that the ordinances performed in LDS temples today replicate rituals that were part of God's teachings from the beginning. But they have no reason to believe anything similar. Hopefully the author of this article will cite some convincing texts.
 

The Prophet Joseph Smith suggested that the Endowment and Freemasonry in part emanated from the same ancient spring. Joe Smith? He's not a very trustworthy source. Do you know he tried to trick investors into funding an illegal bank? The man was as phony as a $3 bill. Thus, some Nauvoo Masons thought of the Endowment as a restoration of a ritual only imperfectly preserved in Freemasonry and viewed Joseph Smith as a master of the underlying principles and allegorical symbolism (Heber C. Kimball to Parley P. Pratt, June 17, 1842, Church Archives). I'm sure those few unnamed Freemasons were totally right... The philosophy and major tenets of Freemasonry are not fundamentally incompatible with the teaching, theology, and doctrines of the Latter-day Saints. Obviously not, but that does not mean they derive from ancient biblical patriarchs or that one group did not co-opt them from the other. Both emphasize morality, sacrifice, consecration, and service, and both condemn selfishness, sin, and greed. So what? You're talking about two groups who's morality is founded in Christian European thought. You're also ignoring the fact that essentially every ethnography you'll read will describe cultures who's beliefs include similar concepts and virtues. That says more about human psychology than it does about the LDS temple being ancient. Furthermore, the aim of Masonic ritual is to instruct-to make truth available so that man can follow it.
 
Resemblances between the two rituals are limited to a small proportion of actions and words; indeed, some find that the LDS Endowment has more similarities with the Pyramid texts and the Coptic documents than with Freemasonry. At this point, dear reader you should compare and contrast the text shared between the temple endowment and the Mason ceremonies. They are in many cases identical! Even if we are to accept the author's claim that they only make up a "limited" portion of the temple, that DOES NOT justify their presence in temple liturgy. I would love to see where the endowment plagiarizes Coptic liturgy in the way. Even where the two rituals share symbolism, the fabric of meanings is different. Because Joseph took the symbols and recast them for his own purposes. In addition to creation and life themes, one similarity is that both call for the participants to make covenants. You keep dancing around the details. I find this approach willfully dishonest. Yet, the Endowment alone ties covenants to eternal blessings and to Jesus Christ. How did you reach this conclusion? Your argument is "OK, we have similarities, but ours is legit, theirs isn't, trust me!"? I'm not impressed. The Masonic ceremony does not emphasize priesthood or the need to be commissioned by God to represent him. So whoever emphasizes that the most wins? What kind of moronic game are you playing? The active participation of God in the world and in men's lives is a distinctly LDS temple motif. As is God's active participation with women, but only through men. It's called divine sexism. While Masons believe in an undefined, impersonal God, everything in the LDS Endowment emanates from, or is directed to, God who is a personage and man's eternal Father. That doesn't mean Joseph Smith didn't steal the Masonic rituals and infuse them into his own thought. The Endowment looks to the eternities and to eternal lives, but Freemasonry is earthbound, pervaded by human legend and hope for something better. Because Joseph had to outdo everyone, including himself.
 

Freemasonry is a fraternal society, and in its ritual all promises, oaths, and agreements are made between members. In the temple Endowment all covenants are between the individual and God. You finally seem to be admitting they use the same oaths (which they do), even if directed to different entities. In Freemasonry, testing, grading, penalizing, or sentencing accords with the rules of the fraternity or membership votes. In the Endowment, God alone is the judge. You lost me. Do you mean that the Freemasons actually take quality control seriously while Mormons just let anything go in the temple? That's dishonest. In the Mormon temple you have someone checking on you every step of the way making sure you do everything just right. The difference being that Freemasons have to learn everything by heart and then get tested, whereas Mormons get to copy what's shown to them on the spot. Within Freemasonry, rank and promotions are of great importance, while in the LDS temple rites there are no distinctions: all participants stand equal before God. Not really. Men and women have separate seating and gendered clothing, including a veil to cover the faces of women. Husbands are placed over wives in the temple. Men get to become king and priests and women queens and priestesses. Historically kings ruled over their queens and we have no idea what a priestess even does according to Mormon doctrine. This is not equality. The clash between good and evil, including Satan's role, is essential to, and vividly depicted in, the Endowment, but is largely absent from Masonic rites. So Joseph added a maniacal Satan to the stage, so what? This is a red herring. You need to look at the details you so diligently avoid! That's where you'll find the real devil. Temple ceremonies emphasize salvation for the dead through vicarious ordinance work, such as baptism for the dead; nothing in Masonic ritual allows for proxies acting on behalf of the dead. Because it's a ridiculous notion. Why would a fraternity need to induct the deceased? Women participate in all aspects of LDS temple rites; though Freemasonry has women's auxiliaries, Masonic ritual excludes them. Freemasonry is a men's club, just like the LDS endowment was back when it was introduced. Both have changed (Mormonism first, thanks to polygamy) to be more inclusive of women. The Endowment's inclusion of females underscores perhaps the most fundamental difference between the two rites: LDS temple rites unite husbands and wives, and their children, in eternal families (see Eternal Lives; Marriage). Now you've moved away from the endowment, where the Masonic plagiarism is found, to the sealing room. You've just moved the goal posts, moron. Latter-day Saint sealings would be completely out of place in the context of Masonic ceremonies. Incredible. I almost want to give you points for trying, except I feel like you're purposefully being sloppy in your analysis of Freemasonry and the LDS temple. I don't know if you're being dishonest or if you simply don't know what you're doing.
 

Freemasonry's 5 points of contact as used in the LDS temple endowment until 1990.

Thus, Latter-day Saints see their temple ordinances as fundamentally different from Masonic and other rituals and think of similarities as remnants from an ancient original. This conclusion is only reached by ignoring the verbatim theft of oaths, the co-opting of symbols, the exact copying of handshakes, and many other elements, while simultaneously cherry picking cultures to compare your beliefs to and then staying back in the vaguest of generalities in order to avoid seeing your comparison implode.

KENNETH W. GODFREY should be ashamed of himself.

Temple prep - Endowed from on High "Lesson 7"

I'm reading the Church Education System's manual for temple preparation and adding my two cents. Text found here.

Objective

“For behold, I have accepted this house, and my name shall be here; and I will manifest myself to my people in mercy in this house” (D&C 110:7). When was the last time someone claimed to have seen Jesus in the temple? When was the last time a sane and honest person saw JC in the temple?

To follow up on the class members’ first visits to the temple and help them prepare to enjoy the temple throughout their lives. This should be the best lesson of the series. Finally the students have some actual experience to base their knowledge off of instead of the cryptic BS they've been pretending to understand. Now we can finally talk for real about the temple.

Preparation

1. Be prepared to make this lesson a time of sharing. Most class members will want to discuss their first visit to the temple. They'll also feel a fair amount of pressure to only say positive things and will likely be more than a little nervous to speak their minds freely.
   
2. Assign a class member to be prepared to read Doctrine and Covenants 110:1–10 and share his or her feelings about it. I know theses thoughts are meant to be shared later, but I'll go ahead and write them here. First off, holy shit! Jesus sounds both very scary and also pretty fucking cool! Secondly, I'm kind of bummed I didn't see Jesus in the temple and more bummed I didn't see anyone who seemed to be seeing him or even conversing with angels. Thirdly, I have no idea where Jesus would even be hanging out in the temple for us to see. Maybe in the Celestial Room smoking a pipe by the fireplace. I don't know. Finally, I think temples totally have made Mormons famous all over the world, unfortunately it's also made them infamous thanks to LDS practices of baptizing people for the dead that the living don't want baptized.
   
3. Assign a class member to summarize the information about Elijah presented in Preparing to Enter the Holy Temple, pages 23–24. In a nutshell, Elijah the prophet keeps coming back from the dead to wave his priesthood fingers about and turn all of our hearts to our fathers. This usually happens in mid-June in the United States. Thanks, Elijah! See you next year!
   
4. Prepare to answer questions that may have arisen during the first visit to the temple, but do not discuss questions or information that should be reserved for discussion in the temple itself. Can we talk about what the True Order of Prayer? That shit was WEIRD! But also, if that's the true order then why the hell are we taught to kneel on the ground, fold our arms, bow our heads and close our eyes? Should we be teaching little kids to raise their hands in the air and lower them saying "Oh God, here the words of my mouth!"? Where such questions exist, encourage individuals to plan additional visits to the temple. Where in the temple would students be expected to talk about the taboo subjects of temple worship? The temple president's office? I really don't know the answer.
   

Lesson Presentation

Ask class members if they have any questions. I have a question! When you went through the temple did they still have an evil Protestant minister helping Satan deceive the children of man? Is it not ironic in light of the fact that the LDS Church is very much a product of the Reformation? What? Those questions are no longer relevant because the Protestant minister has been edited out? OK, well can you explain why women are covenanting to their husbands rather than to the Lord like the men do? Can you explain why we need a new name to give at the veil? Where do these new names come from anyway? Take the time required to answer questions to the best of your ability and as guided by the Lord’s Spirit. The Lord's spirit will be the only guidance you can hope for because the Church isn't giving you anything to work from. Remember that some aspects of temple work must not be discussed outside the temple. I think the only things we promised to never reveal are our new names and the bizarre succession of Masonic signs and tokens, right? Why can't we talk about them again? Don't say it's because they're sacred. We talk about lots of sacred things like baptism, testimony moments, motherhood, the Atonement, the Plan... Don't we think everything in Mormon doctrine is sacred?

Maintaining a Love for Temple Service

• How did you feel when you were in the temple? Nervous. I knew less about what I was supposed to do than I anticipated. I felt like I was being cornered sometimes.

Explain that temple service will bring continuing blessings into the lives of those who go often to the temple. "Continued blessings"? What the hell are you talking about? Tell the class members that while their experience in the temple is still fresh in their minds, they may want to write their feelings about it in their journals. So they can laugh at their own ignorance later on in life. Remind them that although they may record their feelings, they should not write about some details of temple work, which are not to be discussed outside the temple. What are they not allowed to write exactly? Is it not strange that you're trying to censor their journals?

• What can you do to maintain a love for temple service throughout your life? If you stay in the Church long enough you'll automatically become an obsessive old temple goer. Temple "work" is one of the only entertainment options for old Mormons. It's either the temple or the megaplex. Either way you're watching a movie. You might find yourself loving it earlier if you become a parent and you start convincing yourself that your child needs to have an "eternal marriage".

Write the class members’ ideas on the chalkboard. You may also want to present the following ideas:

1. Ponder the temple experience each day. And couple that pondering with some reading material.

Explain that some people have more opportunities to visit the temple than others. But once we have been to the temple and felt the Spirit there, we should take the opportunity each day to ponder the temple ceremonies and reflect upon the covenants we have made. If you rarely or barely feel the Spirit in the temple, you should also ponder that. You're probably just a sinner, but there's also a chance that the temple isn't what it claims to be. Doing this will encourage us each day to think and act in more righteous ways. But not more ethically.

We will not be able to remember everything about the temple, but we should try to remember as much as possible after each visit. Or you can just hop online and look up whatever it is you've forgotten. We should also study the scriptures and words of the prophets about the temple. They don't say much that's substantial. Some of these have been presented in this course. And you remember how hollow those words were, don't you?

You may want to have a class member summarize the following statement, found on page 10 in Preparing to Enter the Holy Temple:

“The temple ceremony will not be fully understood at first experience. It will be only partly understood. Largely because we will not teach you what you need to understand it, nor will we tell you who understands it fully, and don't even dream of finding someone to sit down with who will even try to explain it fully. Saying you understand the temple completely is a form of Mormon heresy. Return again and again and again. And keeping finding "symbols" for yourself so you feel smarter. Return to learn. Things that have troubled you or things that have been puzzling or things that have been mysterious will become known to you. Are you admitting that the temple can trouble people? Can you give an example of something troubling? Why would the temple, a place where we are discouraged from talking and where there are no lectures or classes, be a better place to answer questions than say a Sunday School lesson, where we get to bounce ideas off each other with the supposed help of the Spirit? …

“When you have the opportunity to attend an endowment session in the temple or to witness a sealing, ponder the deeper meaning of what you see demonstrated before you. What deeper meaning? There doesn't even have to be one, you just have to make us believe there is one? And in the days following your visit keep these things on your mind; quietly and prayerfully review them and you will find that your knowledge will increase. The best review involves gently touching your silky garment symbols over and over.

“One of the great values of the temple experience is that it presents the broad, sweeping panorama of God’s purposes relating to this earth. Once we have been through the temple (and we can return and refresh our memories) the events of life fit into the scheme of things. We can see in perspective where we are, and we can quickly see when we are off course.” You don't have to build multi-million dollar temples to see this. Just do a Google search for the "plan of salvation" and print of one of the images that pop up. It's very cheap and easy.

2. Remember that the center of all temple worship is the Savior, Jesus Christ. Is it? I always felt that it was our self-importance and impatience to become gods.

The scriptures teach that an important reason for building temples is so “that the Son of Man might have a place to manifest himself to his people” (D&C 109:5). And yet he's just not popping in very often, is he? The symbols and rituals of the temple help to focus our attention on the Savior. To be completely honest, imagining Eve naked behind a bush distracted me a little...

Explain that the Savior did manifest Himself in the Kirtland Temple. That was the first and last time he did anyone that favor. He appeared to Joseph Smith and Oliver Cowdery to accept the temple as His house. Uh, I have my doubts. This visit is recorded in Doctrine and Covenants 110:1–10. Ask the assigned class member to read and comment on this passage. I put my comments on these verses at the beginning of the post.

• What blessings did the Savior promise to those who build and attend temples? Health in the navel, marrow in the bones... no, wait! That's something else. OK, he said he show up in mercy (wouldn't it be weird for a guy who's already affectionately paid for your sins show up and punish you for being a sinner?), and that he'd pour out "blessings". Thanks for the "blessings", Lord!

In the Temple, Families Are Sealed Together for Eternity

Ask the class members to read Malachi 4:5–6.

Ask the assigned class member to summarize the information about Elijah found in Preparing to Enter the Holy Temple, pages 23–24. I summarized this above.

Explain that Elijah has returned and restored the priesthood keys that allow families to be sealed together in temples for eternity. Don't ask me why Peter, the dude to whom Jesus supposedly gave the power to seal, did give Joseph those "keys" years earlier when he allegedly dropped out of heaven with his pals James and John and bestowed the Melchizedek priesthood upon him.

Have the class members review Doctrine and Covenants 110:13–16. This is the scripture where Elias shows up with his Greek name tag and then shows up again with his Hebrew name tag and is mistaken for a different person. Great story. :S Then ask a class member to read the following statement, found on page 28 in Preparing to Enter the Holy Temple:

“From that very day, April 3, 1836, the hearts of the children began to turn to their fathers. Before that, all children hated their fathers and never thought of them, especially not to help them. Thereafter ordinances were not tentative, but permanent. Baptism was tentative before 1836? Ordination to the Priesthood was tentative!! Are you serious? The sealing power was with us. Rest easy, kids, this highly suspicious story Joseph Smith told means we've got the most powerful magic of any religion. You're in the right place! No authorization transcends it in value. So never ever under any circumstance take seriously what other religions say they have to offer. That power gives substance and eternal permanence to all ordinances performed with proper authority for both the living and the dead.” You'll feel it, brothers and sisters. It will feel low key. Almost anticlimactic. Kind of like the awesomeness of it all was in what was said, not so much in what was done and what happened afterward. What I'm saying is don't expect to see the Lord or anything amazing like that. Keep your expectations to a minimum.

The Savior described the sealing power when He spoke to His Apostle Peter, as recorded in Matthew 16:19. This verse is so strange. If Peter had pronounced chocolate ice cream to be eternally in all celestial freezers, would God have respected that? Does the New Testament give us any idea if Peter actually used this special power at all? Have the class members read this verse.

Explain that these same keys are held today by the prophet and President of the Church. You should see the incredible Lego sets that Tommy Monson has bound on earth and in heaven! “That sacred sealing power is with the Church now. How it works is if you're lucky enough to be a man, you can get sealed to numerous women, and if you're a woman who divorces or is widowed and want to get sealed to a new husband, you can't. Nothing is regarded with more sacred contemplation by those who know the significance of this authority. Which doesn't exactly explain why Heber Kimball said he took no more thought about taking another wife than he did about getting another cow. Nothing is more closely held. Well, except for penises. Those get held pretty darn tightly. There are relatively few men who hold this sealing power upon the earth at any given time—in each temple are brethren who have been given the sealing power. They are among our most special and unique sorcerers. No one can get it except from the prophet, seer, and revelator and President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints or from those he has delegated to give it to others” Seriously, these sealing sorcerers are pretty close to the top of the pig pile. (Preparing to Enter the Holy Temple, 24, 26).

Explain that the sealing ordinances include the sealing of a husband and wife to each other and the sealing of parents to children. That's right, kids, sealings are no longer just about polygamy! When parents are sealed in the temple, the children born to them are born in the covenant of their parents’ sealing and do not need to be sealed to their parents. But the Lord does require paperwork from everyone else. Sorry.

• How do you think being sealed together in the temple might affect the daily thoughts and actions of a family? It definitely gives a false sense of security and contributes to some pretty smug attitudes toward those families who haven't been sealed.
• What blessings do you think would come to a family because of their temple sealing? Earthy blessings? None. I thought the deal was they'd get to be together after they die.

President Gordon B. Hinckley said: “Was there ever a man who truly loved a woman, or a woman who truly loved a man, who did not pray that their relationship might continue beyond the grave? Yes. Has a child ever been buried by parents who did not long for the assurance that their loved one would again be theirs in a world to come? Unfortunately, yes. Can anyone believing in eternal life doubt that the God of heaven would grant his sons and daughters that most precious attribute of life, the love that finds its most meaningful expression in family relationships? Yes, easily. No, reason demands that the family relationship shall continue after death. You'll have to explain your reasoning I'm afraid. The human heart longs for it, and the God of heaven has revealed a way whereby it may be secured. What if this is just an emotionally immature desire that only mere mortals suffer from? Why would a God who knows everything, can be everywhere and is the definition of love not be entirely satisfied with his relationship to his creation (children included) at all times regardless of where their physical presence my be? The sacred ordinances of the house of the Lord provide for it” You're selling a solution to a problem that doesn't exist. (“Why These Temples?” Temples of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints [1988], 4).

Temples Give Us Opportunities to Serve Those Who Have Died

Have the class members read Obadiah 1:21. That's one trippy script, brother! I'm sure you'll make it mean whatever you want it to mean.

The Prophet Joseph Smith explained how members of the Church can become saviors on Mount Zion:

“But how are [the Saints] to become saviors on Mount Zion? By giving Joseph - ahem! the Church... a lot of money and fee labor? By building their temples, erecting their baptismal fonts, and going forth and receiving all the ordinances, baptisms, confirmations, washings, anointings, ordinations and sealing powers upon their heads, in behalf of all their progenitors who are dead, and redeem them that they may come forth in the first resurrection and be exalted to thrones of glory with them; and herein is the chain that binds the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the children to the fathers, which fulfills the mission of Elijah” (History of the Church, 6:184). Sounds like a lot of work for something that isn't even necessary.

“This vicarious work performed in our temples must be carried forth in the same spirit of selfless devotion and sacrifice that characterized the life of the Master” (President Thomas S. Monson). I'm 100% sure that Jesus never asked for this sort of "service" once in the Gospels. Jesus wanted our efforts directed 100% at worshiping the Father through service to the living. 

Explain that as part of His plan of salvation, our Heavenly Father has prepared a way for those who died without receiving the saving ordinances of the gospel to receive these ordinances. It's not a very effective way, so in the end you find yourself questioning God's judgement. The people in the spirit world have the opportunity to hear the gospel. I'm amazed they'd even have to wait for an opportunity to hear the gospel. It seems like once you pass through the veil your memory of the War in Heaven would return and you'd know exactly where you are and what went wrong. They can accept it there, but they cannot receive the ordinances of the gospel for themselves. Because why? The Lord has commanded us to perform these ordinances for them in holy temples. Kind of. Joseph got people going on vicarious baptisms way before baptismal fonts were part of temples. I guess that baptisms for the dead in rivers and lakes really pissed the Lord off. We should make special efforts to do family history work so we can receive ordinances in behalf of our own ancestors. Should we though? I think our energies could be directed toward the living. Imagine if instead of spending 2.5 hours in the temple, Mormons went out and helped in nursing homes or tutored in schools and libraries or cleaned up trash or helped in community vegetable gardens. 

 

Ordinances for the dead performed in temples include baptisms, confirmations, ordinations to the priesthood, endowments, and sealings of husband to wife and parents to children.

We should return to the temple as often as our circumstances permit so that we can serve those who have died by performing ordinances for them. The temples are recycling names these days because they have more people going through than they have new names of the dead. Many names are irretrievable. Let's focus instead on the real work that needs to be done and leave this "work" for the dead for the Millennium. We will bless the lives of those we serve and bless our own lives as well. You don't see the irony in what you said, do you? You're talking about "blessing the lives" of the dead... Information about how to do family history work and perform ordinances for our ancestors is provided in A Member’s Guide to Temple and Family History Work. Now get busy!

President Thomas S. Monson said:

“An appreciation for the temple endowment and the sealing ordinances will bring the members of our families closer together and there will be quickened within each family member a desire to make available these same blessings to our loved ones who have gone beyond. Most people my age can't be bothered. They've got way too much to do with work and children. I think this urgency is more likely to hit once you're old and retired. …

“This vicarious work performed in our temples must be carried forth in the same spirit of selfless devotion and sacrifice that characterized the life of the Master. Just don't think too hard about how the Master focused on the living and never told people to save their dead ancestors by being baptized for them. When we remember him, it becomes easier for us to do our individual parts in this vital work. Only if you remember him in a certain way, a way that makes you believe vicarious ordinances for the dead were somehow his idea. Each time we gaze upon one of these holy houses, may we be reminded of the eternal opportunities which are found inside, not only for ourselves, but for our dead” (Pathways to Perfection [1973], 206–7). Every time you look at a temple you should be thinking about how one day you and all your family could live together in a cloudy community of Gods on a crystal planet. How's that for motivation?

Conclusion

Emphasize that temple attendance allows us to serve others and to continue to gain greater spiritual knowledge. Probably the greatest service you're doing in the temple is keeping elderly people company. The second greatest service is that you're providing jobs for temple cleaners, cafeteria workers and laundry cleaners. Share the following statement:

“No work is more of a protection to this Church than temple work and the genealogical research which supports it. No work is more spiritually refining. What? How does genealogical work protect the Church? By giving it a research organ that actually does credible work unlike the moronic apologists over at BYU and FAIR? No work we do gives us more power. Relax. Accept that you're a mortal like the rest of us. No work requires a higher standard of righteousness. … Keep fanning our self-righteous ego! It feels so good!

“If we will accept the revelation concerning temple ordinance work, if we will enter into our covenants without reservation or apology, the Lord will protect us. Protect us from what? What the hell are you talking about? What are you so afraid of? We will receive inspiration sufficient for the challenges of life. That sounds like minimal inspiration, which is definitely what I got during my years of activity. …

“So come to the temple—come and claim your blessings. They're the unspecific blessings we'll work the whole rest of our lives trying to identify. It is a sacred work” (Preparing to Enter the Holy Temple, 37). It is what you want it to be, I guess. I actually dared to want something otherworldly and beautiful. What I got was human and mundane. I doubted my doubts, but I could only delude myself for so long before letting it go.

End the lesson by sharing testimonies. I'd like to bear my testimony that the LDS temple is not a restoration of ancient ceremony ordain and demanded by Heavenly Father. From what I see, the temple is the product of Joseph Smith trying to impress his followers with something bigger and more complicated than he had previously shown them. It's the result of a religious hack trying to outdo himself. I say this in the name of honest contemplation and historical evidence. Amen. Encourage the class members to return often to the temple so that they can be taught by the Spirit of the Lord. Isn't this what's supposed to be happening in church on Sundays? Why would regular church services be unable to reach this goal of being taught be the Spirit?

You may want to mention that the class members may be able to obtain from Church distribution centers and view at home the video presentation Mountain of the Lord. This 73-minute presentation tells the story of the building of the Salt Lake Temple. It's just more propaganda. You can skip it, like this whole lesson.

Temple prep - "Sacred Covenants"

The following text is taken from the pamphlet "Preparing to Enter the Holy Temple" (2002) and annotated by me.

The Lord in the revelation now known as section 132 of the Doctrine and Covenants announces:

For behold, I reveal unto you a new and an everlasting covenant; and if ye abide not that covenant, then are ye damned; for no one can reject this covenant and be permitted to enter into my glory.

For all who will have a blessing at my hands shall abide the law which was appointed for that blessing, and the conditions thereof, as were instituted from before the foundation of the world. (D&C 132:4–5.) This is the section Joseph "received" justifying polygamy. The new and everlasting covenant is unequivocally plural marriage. This is also the section that threatens Emma with death if she doesn't let Joseph marry the women he's already married and marry even more that he hasn't yet married.

President Joseph Fielding Smith defines the new and everlasting covenant in these words:

What is the new and everlasting covenant? I just told everyone, sorry. I regret to say that there are some members of the Church who are misled and misinformed in regard to what the new and everlasting covenant really is. Totally! Many believe it's eternal marriage. The new and everlasting covenant is the sum total of all gospel covenants and obligations. Huh? You know you didn't really say what it is, right? For those of you who missed it above, the new and everlasting covenant is heaven sanctioned polygyny. (Joseph Fielding Smith, Doctrines of Salvation, 3 vols. [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1954–56], 1:156; hereafter cited as Doctrines of Salvation.)

This covenant includes all ordinances of the gospel—the highest of which are performed in the temple. To quote President Smith again:

Now there is a clear-cut definition in detail of the new and everlasting covenant. Let's hear the clear-cut version now... It is everything—the fulness of the gospel. That's not very clear. You've just muddled everything into one. It's almost as if you haven't read Section 132. So marriage properly performed, baptism, ordination to the priesthood, everything else—every contract, every obligation, every performance that pertains to the gospel of Jesus Christ, which is sealed by the Holy Spirit of promise according to his law here given, is a part of the new and everlasting covenant. Once again, that is not the definition the Lord gave in Section 132. I think you're probably trying really hard to downplay the importance of polygamy to early Mormonism. (Doctrines of Salvation, 1:158.)

In the verse quoted previously (Doctrine and Covenants 132:4) the Lord spoke with unmistakable plainness: “… for no one can reject this covenant and be permitted to enter into my glory.” Right. The purpose of this revelation was to force Emma into accepting her husband's sleeping around. Emma however had the good sense to burn the revelation when Hyrum brought it to her (because Joseph didn't have the balls to bring it to her himself).

Those who go to the temple have the privilege of taking upon themselves specific covenants and obligations relative to their exaltation and that of others. Please tell us all exactly what these covenants are. It would be really awkward to drag someone to the temple dress them all up and sit them down for the movie and leave them completely ignorant of the promises they're there to make. Elder James E. Talmage wrote:

The ordinances of the endowment embody certain obligations on the part of the individual, such as covenant and promise to observe the law of strict virtue and chastity, to be charitable, benevolent, tolerant and pure; to devote both talent and material means to the spread of truth and the uplifting of the race; to maintain devotion to the cause of truth; and to seek in every way to contribute to the great preparation that the earth may be made ready to receive her King,—the Lord Jesus Christ. Thank you very much for the list, I just have a question for you: how are these not covered in the baptismal covenants? I think they're already covered, bro. With the taking of each covenant and the assuming of each obligation a promised blessing is pronounced, contingent upon the faithful observance of the conditions. What blessings? Tell us. Actually maybe I'll just take a moment to list them for everyone. The gods promise they "will provide a Savior for you, whereby you may come back into our presence, and with us partake of Eternal Life and exaltation". Part of this partaking of "Eternal Life and exaltation" includes "the day... when you will be... Kings and Queens, Priests and Priestesses" in heaven. It sounds impressive, doesn't it? (The House of the Lord, page 100.)

We covenant with the Lord to devote our time, talents, and means to His kingdom. Meaning what? All of our time, talents and wealth, or just 10%? Do I need to make the LDS Church the sole benefactor in my will? Can you be a little more clear?

We are a covenant people. We covenant to give of our resources in time and money and talent—all we are and all we possess—to the interest of the kingdom of God upon the earth. So I should rewrite my will. In simple terms, we covenant to do good. "Good" according to the Church means "help the Church". "Good" according to Jesus means helping the sick, hungry and downtrodden. We are a covenant people, and the temple is the center of our covenants. The covenant center, if you will. Those meeting houses where we're required to renew our baptismal covenants every week? Not so central. It is the source of the covenant. You might have been thinking Jesus was the source, but he's not. The temples that we make (and only ours, mind you) are a magnificent fountain spewing forth covenants upon the world.

Come to the temple. Don't tell me what to do! You ought to come to the temple. If you want to see the hidden side of Mormonism, then you really ought to. Here, acting as proxy for someone who has gone beyond the veil, you will have reviewed before you the covenants that you have made. This is actually the only way for you to review because the Church won't give you the text to study unless you're one of the actors in the drama. You will have reinforced in your mind the great spiritual blessings that are associated with the house of the Lord. Those blessing (eternal life with God) are what we're promised at baptism though, so feel free to stop at baptism (if you believe in that sort of thing).

Be faithful to the covenants and ordinances of the gospel. Give the Church EVERYTHING YOU'VE GOT and DON'T TELL ANYONE your secret name or passwords and shit! Qualify for those sacred ordinances step by step as you move through life. Don't we have to qualify before we go to the temple? Isn't that what all the interviews were about? Honor the covenants connected with them. Or be prepared to excuse yourself from the endowment when they ask if anyone wants to leave. Don't be nervous - no one ever dares leave. Do this and you will be happy. Unless you're still deeply unsatisfied with things.

Your lives will then be in order—all things lined up in proper sequence, in proper ranks, in proper rows. We have to rank something and put stuff in rows? What? Is this a military analogy? Your family will be linked in an order that can never be broken. On second thought it can still be broken, like in the case of temple divorce, deceased family potentially rejecting the temple ordinances done on earth, living family members abandoning ship, future family members choosing not to do the Mormon thing, or someone like Joseph Smith being sealed to your wife and thereby eternally inheriting all your kids.

In the covenants and ordinances center the blessings that you may claim in the holy temple. No, the blessings mentioned in the temple, with the exception of "protection" thanks to garment wearing, are blessings you can only receive after death. Surely the Lord is pleased when we are worthy of the title: A keeper of the covenants. You know what? I'm not at all sure he is.

Temple prep - "All Done in Order"

The following text is taken from the pamphlet "Preparing to Enter the Holy Temple" (2002) and annotated by me.

Following the dramatic events at the Kirtland Temple, difficulties and persecutions required that the Saints move. Wherever they located, the Lord revealed plans to build temples. The Lord just didn't have the foresight to see that the saints would be chased away. He really could have saved time and lives by just telling Joseph to take everyone out to Utah instead of some silly place like Missouri. This was true in both Independence and Far West, Missouri. In this period persecution fell upon the Saints with unprecedented rage and eventually they fled to Nauvoo, Illinois. Nauvoo was clearly not far enough. The Lord should have seen that. Here the revelation came again and the commandment to build a house of the Lord.

The Lord explained that the purpose of the building of the house was to reveal the ordinances. “And verily I say unto you, let this house be built unto my name, that I may reveal mine ordinances therein unto my people; for I deign to reveal unto my church things which have been kept hid from before the foundation of the world, things that pertain to the dispensation of the fulness of times.” (D&C 124:40–41.) Freemasonry was definitely not hidden "from before the foundation of the world" and yet that's what you get in the temple. Weird.

He had mentioned that the temple would be a place for them to conduct “your anointings, and your washings, and your baptisms for the dead, and your solemn assemblies, and your memorials for your sacrifices by the sons of Levi, and for your oracles in your most holy places wherein you receive conversations, and your statutes and judgments, for the beginning of the revelations and foundation of Zion, and for the glory, honor, and endowment of all her municipals, … by the ordinance of my holy house, which my people are always commanded to build unto my holy name.” (D&C 124:39.) If you're an active LDS Mormon, you're probably wondering right now what solemn assemblies, what memorials for "sacrifices by the sons of Levi", what oracles "wherein [we] receive conversations", what statutes and judgments, and what revelations of Zion might mean with regard to the temple. Apparently there should be more to the temple than we now have.

Among the ordinances we perform in the Church are these: baptism, sacrament, naming and blessing of infants, administering to the sick, setting apart to callings in the Church, ordaining to offices. In addition there are higher ordinances, performed in the temples. These include washings, anointings, the endowment, and the sealing ordinance, spoken of generally as temple marriage. Boyd, you left out memorials for sacrifices and conversations with oracles!

How important are the ordinances to us as members of the Church? However important you we as members make them. The real question is "How important are these ordinances to Jesus?" Probably not very. He never really talked about them.

Can you be happy, can you be redeemed, can you be exalted without them? Answer: They are more than advisable or desirable, or even than necessary. More even than essential or vital. They are crucial to each of us. "Necessary", "essential", "vital" and "crucial" are synonyms. Your rhetoric is weak.

The Prophet Joseph Smith said he was frequently asked the question:

“Can we not be saved without going through with all those ordinances, etc.?” I would answer, No, not the fullness of salvation. You have to buy the whole set, folks, not just what Jesus was selling. Jesus said, “There are many mansions in my Father’s house, and I will go and prepare a place for you.” House here named should have been translated kingdom; and any person who is exalted to the highest mansion has to abide a celestial law, and the whole law too. Dude, Joe, you haven't been too good at translating. I'd give it a rest. Would you mind sharing with us where Jesus explained the "celestial law"? (History of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, ed. B. H. Roberts, 7 vols. [Salt Lake City: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 1949], 6:184.)

President Joseph Fielding Smith said:

I do not care what office you hold in this Church, you may be an apostle, you may be a patriarch, a high priest, or anything else, and you cannot receive the fulness of the priesthood unless you go into the temple of the Lord and receive these ordinances of which the prophet speaks. Trust Joseph. He only lied when it saved his skin or made some money. No man can get the fulness of the priesthood outside of the temple of the Lord. Are you suggesting that when we go through the temple both men and women are given the fulness of the Priesthood? Like, even women have total god powers?? (Joseph Fielding Smith, Elijah the Prophet and His Mission [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1957], page 46.)

We spoke earlier of the higher ordinances performed in the temple. How can any ordinance be "higher" than another "crucial" ordinance? Can an ordinance out crucial another? These include the endowment. Is the endowment more crucial than the marriage sealing, or are you just giving us a merit badge checklist? To endow is to enrich, to give to another something long lasting and of much worth. The temple endowment ordinances enrich in three ways: (a) The one receiving the ordinance is given power from God. You'll be a totally badass wizard!  “Recipients are endowed with power from on high.” Which powers from on high do we get?? (b) A recipient is also endowed with information and knowledge. Secret passwords and slick handshakes! “They receive an education relative to the Lord’s purposes and plans.” You mean the plan that we all had memorized in Primary? That "Lord's plan"? (Bruce R. McConkie, Mormon Doctrine, 2nd ed. [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1966], page 227.) (c) When sealed at the altar a person is the recipient of glorious blessings, powers, and honors as part of his or her endowment. What blessings, powers and honors? How are we blessed? How are we more powerful? How are we honored?

There are two published definitions or descriptions of the endowment, the first by President Brigham Young:

Let me give you a definition in brief. Your endowment is, to receive all those ordinances in the House of the Lord, which are necessary for you, after you have departed this life, to enable you to walk back to the presence of the Father, passing the angels who stand as sentinels, being able to give them the key words, the signs and tokens, pertaining to the holy Priesthood, and gain your eternal exaltation in spite of earth and hell. Passwords and handshakes open the heavens, kids. That's how God rolls. Oh, and Brigham meant "crucial", not "necessary". (Discourses of Brigham Young, comp. John A. Widtsoe [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1971], page 416.)

Elder James E. Talmage described the endowment thus:

The Temple Endowment, as administered in modern temples, comprises instruction relating to the significance and sequence of past dispensations, and the importance of the present as the greatest and grandest era in human history. "Past dispensations" here means back to the first half of the 19th century with a healthy dash of late Mideval Freemasonry. This course of instruction includes a recital of the most prominent events of the creative period, the condition of our first parents in the Garden of Eden, their disobedience and consequent expulsion from that blissful abode, their condition in the lone and dreary world when doomed to live by labor and sweat, the plan of redemption by which the great transgression may be atoned, the period of the great apostasy, the restoration of the Gospel with all its ancient powers and privileges, the absolute and indispensable condition of personal purity and devotion to the right in present life, and a strict compliance with Gospel requirements. This is actually a marginally helpful quote in terms of outlining the endowment (but not nearly as helpful as reading it or watching it online). However, now that we've gone over everything, you don't really have to go to the temple to review it again. Or just take a couple of hours to refresh that whole narrative peacefully at home. (James E. Talmage, The House of the Lord [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1962], pages 99–100; hereafter cited as The House of the Lord.)

This statement from Elder Talmage makes it clear that when you receive your endowments you will receive instruction relative to the purpose and plans of the Lord in creating and peopling the earth. You will be taught what must be done for you to gain exaltation. You've said this before in other sections with these same vague terms.

The blessing of the endowment is required for full exaltation. Don't you mean "crucial"? Earlier you said it was "more than" advisable, desirable, necessary, essential and vital. Does "required" mean all that? Every Latter-day Saint should seek to be worthy of this blessing and to obtain it. Otherwise they're selling themselves short! And saving countless hours of sitting through a lame movie, repeating oaths and promises they've already made in the catch-all covenant of baptism, getting dressed up like a clown, driving and parking, and worrying about why the ceremony is so unenlightening.

The ordinances of washing and anointing are referred to often in the temple as initiatory ordinances. It will be sufficient for our purposes to say only the following: Associated with the endowment are washings and anointings—mostly symbolic in nature, but promising definite, immediate blessings as well as future blessings. This is not very enlightening, Boyd. You really should say what the "definite, immediate blessings" are. You should also be telling us that we will be getting naked (this pamphlet was published before 2005) and touched by a stranger (now you just get gestures of touching while you sit in your new underwear). You should also mention the second anointing.

In connection with these ordinances, in the temple you will be officially clothed in the garment and promised marvelous blessings in connection with it. What marvelous blessings? These are all empty explanations. It is important that you listen carefully as these ordinances are administered and that you try to remember the blessings promised and the conditions upon which they will be realized. For us visual learners it would be useful to see the words.

The sealing ordinance is that ordinance which binds families eternally. Through more magic words while the couple, dressed in Masonic robes, is kneeling at an alter doing the handshakes. Temple marriage is a sealing ordinance. It used to just be for polygamous marriages. When a couple is sealed in the temple following a civil marriage the children born to them previous to that time, and therefore not born in the covenant, are sealed to them in a brief and sacred ordinance. The only temple ordinance that isn't brief is the endowment and it really could be shortened significantly.

Please be certain that your life is in complete order. Or else what? What are you trying to threaten these poor neurotic kids with? This only comes from receiving your temple blessings, your ordinances, for “in the ordinances thereof, the power of godliness is manifest.” (D&C 84:20.) What "only comes from receiving your temple blessings" and ordinances? What is "this" in reference to? Don't leave us hanging!

Temple prep - "The Power to Seal"

The following text is taken from the pamphlet "Preparing to Enter the Holy Temple" (2002) and annotated by me.

If we would understand both the history and the doctrine of temple work we must understand what the sealing power is. I'm pretty sure chemists and physicists are working on that right now. We will crack the code! We must envision, at least to a degree, why the keys of authority to employ the sealing power are crucial. Self importance, perhaps?

Nearly nine hundred years before Christ, the prophet Elijah appeared in the court of the king of Israel. He carried with him a sacred authority: the power to seal. You don't think this story's made up?? I mean, it's from the Old Testament for crying out loud.

Elijah worked out his ministry, ordained and anointed Elisha to succeed him, and then—and this is important—he did not die. Like Moses before him, he was translated. Could he also fly and see through walls?

After that, his name appears only once in the Old Testament, in the next to the last verse of the last chapter of the Old Testament. It is here that Malachi prophesies that Elijah would return and that he would “turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers,” lest the whole earth be smitten with a curse. (See Malachi 4:5–6.) I really and truly hate curses. Please tell me Elijah flew back in from wherever he flew off to.

When Jesus came into the coasts of Caesarea Philippi, he asked his disciples, saying, Whom do men say that I the Son of man am?

And they said, Some say that thou art John the Baptist: some, Elias; and others, Jeremias, or one of the prophets.

He saith unto them, But whom say ye that I am?

And Simon Peter answered and said, Thou art the Christ, the Son of the living God.

And Jesus answered and said unto him, Blessed art thou, Simon Bar-jona: for flesh and blood hath not revealed it unto thee, but my Father which is in heaven.

And I say also unto thee, That thou art Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church; and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.

And I will give unto thee the keys of the kingdom of heaven; and whatsoever thou shalt bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. (Matthew 16:13–19.)

You didn't transition at all to these verses. How did you get from Malachi talking hearts to Matthew talking stones and keys so fast?

When Peter, James, and John went with the Lord to the Mount of Transfiguration, there appeared with the transfigured Lord two personages. It's all true, isn't it? Please tell me there are dead people that can come back and float in the air as we levitate. They recognized them to be Moses and Elijah, who had come to convey to that presidency the sealing power. (See Matthew 17:1–8; note that Elias is the Greek translation of the Hebrew name Elijah and is often used in the New Testament to designate Elijah, the prophet of the Old Testament.) If only Joseph Smith knew what you just shared with us he wouldn't look like such an ass today.

Peter was to hold the keys. Is that a euphemism for touching one's cock and balls? Peter was to hold the sealing power, that authority which carries the power to bind or seal on earth or to loose on earth and it would be so in the heavens. He could make thinks in the sky the same as on the ground? You need to explain this better. Maybe what you mean is that he had a special glue for his model rockets so they wouldn't fall apart in the air.

In A.D. 34, after His crucifixion, the Lord ministered to the Nephites. That's miraculous because the Nephites are a fiction. He dictated to them—and this is remarkable in scriptural history—the last two chapters of Malachi (which contained the prophecy that Elijah would return), caused them to write them, and then expounded them. What's truly miraculous here is that the Lord dictated from the King James Bible, which was still about 1600 years in the making. Or Joseph just copied them down from his Bible at home and threw in his preferred interpretation.

When the Angel Moroni appeared to the Prophet Joseph Smith to tell him of the plates, he quoted Malachi’s prophecy that Elijah would return. According to one version of the story. This quotation is now section two of the Doctrine and Covenants. So thanks to Joseph Smith, Malachi is now canonized in Jacobian English in 3 different books of scripture. Impressive.

Thirteen years after Moroni appeared, a temple had been built adequate for the purpose, and the Lord again appeared and Elijah came with Him and bestowed the keys of the sealing power. He returned again? That's dedication! Unfortunately he got back too late to help Joseph authorize his first plural marriage. Oops.

Those keys belong to the President of the Church—to the prophet, seer, and revelator. Today it's a man who has neither prophesied, seen or revealed anything on behalf of the Church. Despite those shortcomings, don't doubt that he is definitely holding fast to those keys. That sacred sealing power is with the Church now. Says the Church. Nothing is regarded with more sacred contemplation by those who know the significance of this authority. What is that significance? You haven't really said. Nothing is more closely held. Because of greed or fear? What would happen if those keys were conferred on an evil man? Would God help you find these keys again if you accidentally lost them?  There are relatively few men who hold this sealing power upon the earth at any given time—in each temple are brethren who have been given the sealing power. Our holy chefs of the original recipe... No one can get it except from the prophet, seer, and revelator and President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints or from those he has delegated to give it to others. This is why you have to go with LDS Mormonism. Don't settle for anything less than the most powerful sealing contractors in the business!

Temple prep - "Dressed in White"

The following text is taken from the pamphlet "Preparing to Enter the Holy Temple" (2002) and annotated by me.

When we do ordinance work in the temple we wear white clothing. This clothing is symbolic of purity and worthiness and cleanliness. No news here. Baptism clothing is white for the same reason.

Upon entering the temple you exchange your street clothing for the white clothing of the temple. No one wears everyday clothes to the temple. If by "street clothing" you mean "Sunday best", then yes. Actually, no. Men get to keep their why button up shirt they wear in, so not all "street clothing" is traded in. This change of clothing takes place in the locker room, where each individual is provided with a locker and a dressing space and is completely private. Kids, this is good, practical information, but it has absolutely nothing to do with knowing your temple covenants before you go. In the temple the ideal of modesty is carefully maintained. How scandalous it would be for men or women see any sexy skin of another man or woman! :S As you put your clothing in the locker you leave your cares and concerns and distractions there with them. You step out of this private little dressing area dressed in white and you feel a oneness and a sense of equality, for all around you are similarly dressed. Communist uniforms LDS style.

If you are going to the temple for the first time, counsel with your bishop. When he issues you a recommend he will explain something of the nature of the clothing that will be required in the temple. What "counseling" is there to be done? Just tell us what the clothing is! What's that? The Church now does tell everyone in the whole world about our temple clothing? Yeah! Excellent job, Church! Way to disclose! Obtaining this clothing need not be a worry to you. You can either buy it through Church Distribution Services or, in some cases, rent it at the temple. In the latter case a very modest fee is required which covers only the cost of laundering the clothing. Rental clothing is not available at the smaller temples. Good practical information here, kids, but chances are your parents will buy your clothes for you.

As with the ceremonies and ordinances of the temple, outside of the temple we say very little about the clothing worn inside. NOT ANYMORE, DUDE! We can say that it, like the ceremonies, has great symbolic meaning. You can say whatever you want when you prohibit everyone from talking about what you've said.

It is a mark of reverence and respect when the Church member visits the temple dressed and groomed in such a way that he or she would not be uncomfortable in the presence of the Lord. Why should anyone be ashamed to show up as they are to the Maker who made them? Maybe it's time the Lord took a good hard look at his handiwork. Suppose for a moment that you are invited to be the guest in the home of a prominent and highly respected leader. Now imagine you're the kind of fool to grovel at authority... You are given to understand that you will mingle with distinguished guests who have received similar invitations. And you're going to want to do some schmoozing... The invitation is an indication that the host holds you in very high regard. You realize that many others would highly prize such an invitation, but for one reason or another they have not likewise been invited and therefore are not able to attend. So relax, the "leader" already likes your shit. Under those circumstances it is doubtful that you would arrive in old work clothes or dressed as you do for recreation. It is doubtful that a man would go unshaven, or a woman with her hair unkempt. So please show your ability to follow all social norms for dress and grooming! This is one case where the ways of the world are indeed the ways of the Lord. Remember the Lord looketh on your lapels for dander and mustard dribbles, and your shoes for fresh polish.

People of dignity and refinement, upon receiving an invitation to an important gathering, frequently make inquiry as to what dress would be in order. Would you not prepare carefully for such a special occasion? This is rhetorical. You would. You most definitely would. You might even purchase new clothing in the hope that your appearance would not detract from the dignified nature of the setting. You don't want to stick out. Remember the parable of the nail.

Care would also be shown for the pressing and cleaning of your clothes. Holy shit, you're still talking about dressing prim and proper. You would feel uncomfortable if you were not properly attired. Unless that sort of thing doesn't bother you.

 
The opportunity to visit the temple might be compared to such an invitation. I think every reader understood where you were going with this, but thanks for spelling it out.

There is one occasion only when members of the Church are invited into the temple proper in “street” clothing, and that is when they witness a temple marriage. Again, most people don't call their Sunday best "street" clothing. In that case only the shoes are removed, and these may be replaced with white footwear. Why? This sounds horribly superstitious. Years ago the Brethren authorized this to be so for the convenience of those family members and friends who would not be going through an endowment session immediately prior to the marriage. So there was a temple change? What else has changed?

Brides and grooms enter the temple to be married for time and all eternity. Ahem! ...The word you're looking for is "sealed". There brides wear white dresses that are long-sleeved, modest in design and fabric, and free of elaborate ornamentation. God hates immodest female arms and prideful embellishments! Grooms also dress in white. Brethren who come to witness temple marriages do not wear tuxedos. Unless they're all white tuxedos.

We have been puzzled and a little saddened at times, when attending the temple, to find that some have come to witness marriages or to attend a session in the temple dressed as though they were going to a picnic or an athletic event. Or in terrible black tuxedos like they're going to the Oscars.

The privilege to enter the temple deserves more from us than that. Why do you assholes always act to entitled! Argh! It is pleasing to the Lord when we bathe our bodies and put on clean clothing, however inexpensive the clothing may be. Yes, expensive clothing is of no consequence, but for the Lord's sake, please bath. He really wants to watch you bathe. We should dress in such a way that we might comfortably attend a sacrament meeting or a gathering that is proper and dignified. So you're saying Sunday best, right?

On occasions there has been one to witness a wedding who obviously has paid little attention to the counsel that the Brethren have given about dress and grooming, about taking care not to emulate the world in the extremes of style in clothing, in hair length and arrangement, etc. We wonder why it is that a person who is mature enough to be admitted to the temple would not at once be sensible enough to know that the Lord could not be pleased with those who show obvious preference to follow after the ways of the world. Bro, this entire section you have been hammering us about following American dress norms. How are those norms separate from the world? Are you suggesting that God's culture is mid-century American? This is ethnocentrism at it's finest.

How could a recommended member attend the temple in clothing that is immodest or worldly? Apparently they can't. How could one wear a style of hair that is not in keeping with refinement and dignity? How long has this stick been up your ass??

When you have the opportunity to go to the temple to participate in the temple ceremonies or to witness a sealing, remember where you are. It's very easy to forget because all these LDS places look just about exactly the same. You are a guest in the house of the Lord. He doesn't want to come home to see you lounging about in his favorite chair watching your damn shows on his celestial television! You should groom yourself and clothe yourself in such a way that you would feel comfortable should your Host appear. Exactly! Sit quietly with your arms folded and DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING! (By the way, God loves you and is happy to see you.)

Those who hold and share in the blessings of the priesthood should have their bodies covered as was revealed to the Prophet Joseph Smith when the endowment ceremony was given to him. Temple change alert!

Members who have received their temple ordinances thereafter wear the special garment or underclothing. Garments are provided by an agency of the Church—and are generally available to members throughout the world through a distribution program operated by the Church. And they're very reasonably priced.

The garment represents sacred covenants. It fosters modesty and becomes a shield and protection to the wearer. Can we talk a bit about what you mean by "shield and protection"? I understand the Church is shying away from all those stories of how garments stop bullets and fire and bear claws and other such earthly annoyances, so are we to understand that they just somehow keep Satan out of our pants? Should we not be getting aroused in our garments? Going vague doesn't exactly help your case.

"I make all my clothes in my garage because 

I want to be sexy modest for the Lord."

The wearing of such a garment does not prevent members from dressing in the fashionable clothing generally worn in the nations of the world. Yes, it does. Mormon women have an extremely hard time buying fashionable clothing. That's why Utah fashion is it's own unfortunate thing. Only clothing that is immodest or extreme in style would be incompatible with wearing the garment. Don't laugh! Porn shoulders are a huge problem, man! Any member of the Church, whether he or she has been to the temple or not, would in proper spirit want to avoid extreme or revealing fashions. You keep using the word "extreme", isn't it past time for a definition? To me, Photoshopping sleeves on angels just might fit the definition.

There may be occasions when endowed members of the Church face questions on the garment. Questions like "Why the fuck can't I every find ones that fit right?" and "Why the hell am I wearing an extra layer in 100 degree heat?"

On one occasion one of the brethren was invited to speak to the faculty and staff of the Navy Chaplains Training School in Newport, Rhode Island. The audience included a number of high-ranking naval chaplains from the Catholic, Protestant, and Jewish faiths. Yes! I love this very defensive story!

In the question-and-answer period one of the chaplains asked, “Can you tell us something about the special underwear that some Mormon servicemen wear?” The implication was, “Why do you do that? Isn’t it strange? Doesn’t that present a problem?”

To the chaplain who made the inquiry he responded with a question: “Which church do you represent?” In response he named one of the Protestant churches.

He said, “In civilian life and also when conducting the meetings in the military service you wear clerical clothing, do you not?” The chaplain said that he did. Yeah, dumb fucker, you sure do!

He continued: “I would suppose that that has some importance to you, that in a sense it sets you apart from the rest of your congregation. It is your uniform, as it were, of the ministry. Also, I suppose it may have a much more important place. It reminds you of who you are and what your obligations and covenants are. It is a continual reminder that you are a member of the clergy, that you regard yourself as a servant of the Lord, and that you are responsible to live in such a way as to be worthy of your ordination.”

He then told them: “You should be able to understand at least one of our reasons why Latter-day Saints have a deep spiritual commitment concerning the garment. He sure a fuck should be able to understand but he's a near-sighted, self-centered Mormon hater! A major difference between your churches and ours is that we do not have a professional clergy, as you do. Because Mormons are way above showing off their devotion like that, you superficial sack of shit! The congregations are all presided over by local leaders. They are men called from all walks of life. Yet they are ordained to the priesthood. They hold offices in the priesthood. They are set apart to presiding positions as presidents, counselors, and leaders in various categories. The women, too, share in that responsibility and in those obligations. Just at home though when their husband unload on them and ask for advice. We really don't allow any women to preside over men directly. The man who heads our congregation on Sunday as the bishop may go to work on Monday as a postal clerk, as an office worker, a farmer, a doctor; or he may be an air force pilot or a naval officer. The only thing he may not be is a woman. By our standard he is as much an ordained minister as you are by your standard. He is recognized as such by most governments. We draw something of the same benefits from this special clothing as you would draw from your clerical vestments. The difference is that we wear ours under our clothing instead of outside, for we are employed in various occupations in addition to our service in the Church. These sacred things we do not wish to parade before the world.” Because we're not self-righteous show offs!

He then explained that there are some deeper spiritual meanings as well, connecting the practice of wearing this garment with covenants that are made in the temple. Oh, do tell us what "deeper spiritual meanings" he explained! No one in the temple really bothers telling us anything more than that they represent the lamb skin garments God made for Adam and Eve and that they have some kind of protective power. We wouldn’t find it necessary to discuss these—not that they are secret, he repeated, but because they are sacred. Not secret, we just won't tell you about it because you're all swine.

The garment, covering the body, is a visual and tactile reminder of these covenants. Which covenants? For many Church members the garment has formed a barrier of protection when the wearer has been faced with temptation. Ah ha! They do keep Satan out of some Mormons' pants! (Just not mine.) Among other things it symbolizes our deep respect for the laws of God—among them the moral standard. Or more accurately they symbolize our tendency to shame God's creation and guilt those in our group who do not abide by this culturally specific dress standard.