Polygamy - until Death do us unite

Now that the LDS Church has officially put up information on lds.org about Joseph Smith's polyandry, let's see what the Church has to say about it.

Joseph Smith was sealed to a number of women who were already married. Neither these women nor Joseph explained much about these sealings, though several women said they were for eternity alone. Other women left no records, making it unknown whether their sealings were for time and eternity or were for eternity alone. 

What's an "eternity alone" marriage? Here's the explanation:

Eternity-only sealings indicated relationships in the next life alone.

"Relationships" means sexual relationships; it seems that some of Joseph's marriages would only involve sex after death and resurrection. 

So relax, there's a chance that Joseph wasn't boning all of the already married women that he secretly married. BUT THEY'LL BE GETTING IT ON INFINITELY IN THE NEXT LIFE.

Does that sound any less weird? Does "eternity alone" even make sense given how long eternity is? What about postponing sex makes having multiple spouses sound more acceptable to Mormons? I wonder how the husbands feel about this arrangement? Wouldn't a "life alone" marriage at least offer the relief of knowing that your wife's relationship with another man will one day end?

Filling pockets full of virgins

Isn't it at least a little strange that following Joseph Smith's death many of his wives were divvied up between Brigham Young and Heber Kimball? It's a fact that many of those women didn't meet the requirements for plural marriage in the first place and should not have been married to Joseph, but why would they end up automatically marrying other early Mormon bigwigs? Is there another rule about wives trickling down the chain of hierarchy upon a prophet's death?

What about Brigham and Heber's other wives? I'm sure if we were to look at the lives of each of these sister wives and the situations surrounding their polygamous marriage, as has been done with Joseph's wives, we would find plenty of instances to doubt the divinity and righteous practice of the Law of Plural Marriage. Maybe some day I'll get around to it, but then where would I then stop? How many early Church leaders practiced polygamy? How many women had to cope with the practice despite their better judgement?

Years ago we heard that polygamy helped house and provide for widows. Taking care of the surplus of women is a good thing. We heard that polygamy was needed to boost the Mormon population even though polygamy doesn't actually do that. We were told that only a very small percentage of Mormon men practiced it as if that would somehow make how it was practiced ethical. We even heard our prophet say he did not think polygamy was doctrinal even though the commandment and explanation of it is still contained our scripture.

There's a lot of history here that we could discuss - a lot - and the LDS Church is trying to discuss it as little as possible while still appearing open and willing. What I would like to see is more focus on the people who felt constrained to practice and not on the institutional justifications.

Ruth Daggett Vose Sayers (Smith) - wife #19

Ruth Sayers (February 26, 1808 - 1884) was an upholsterer from Boston. She was baptized there by Brigham Young in 1836, about four years after she had first heard of the Mormons. While living in Boston she donated significantly to the Kirtland temple construction.

Ruth married Edward Sayers in 1841 and the couple soon headed to Nauvoo. In August of the following year, Ruth got to know Joseph Smith better when he stayed with the Sayers for a week while hiding from the law. Ruth and Joseph were married six months later.

Ruth stayed living with Edward in Nauvoo and for the rest of her life. After Joseph's death the Sayers moved back to Boston for a few years before moving out to Utah.

Sarah Maryetta (or Marietta) Kingsley Howe Cleveland (Smith) - wife #13

Sarah Cleveland (1788 - April 20, 1856) joined the Church sometime in the mid-1830, her husband, John Cleveland, however, did not and never did. John, father of Sarah's two children, Augusta and Alexander, was her second husband, the first passing away from illness in the early 1820s.

The Clevelands had been living in Quincy, Illinois since 1836 and in early 1839 they took in Emma and the Smith children while Joseph did jail time. Joseph joined his family at the Cleveland's for a few weeks after his release. Thus Joseph and Sarah got to know one another.

After the Smith's moved to Nauvoo Joseph sent word to the Clevelands that he had reserved a lot for them right across the street from his house. The Clevelands left Quincy for Nauvoo in 1842. That same year Emma chose Sarah as her councilor in the Relief Society and Sarah married Emma's husband behind her back. Very slick.

Sarah was very loyal to Joseph and help defuse a nasty (but true!) rumor that he had married his own sister-in-law, Agnes Coolbrith.

When the saints headed west following Joseph's assassination Sarah and her son Alexander tried to follow only to turn back (with permission from Brigham Young) after four days.

As mentioned in the FMH Podcast episode (linked above), Sarah falls neatly into the typical profile for Joseph's early polygamous marriages. What is that profile? Non-virgin women currently married to other men, not a word to Emma, new wife covers for Joseph and sometimes recruits for him, all while staying with her legal husband. Basically the makings of a secret combination that also doubles as a harem.

Elizabeth Davis Goldsmith Brackenbury Durfee (Smith) Lott - wife #12

Elizabeth Durfee (March 11, 1791 - December 16, 1876), Joseph Smith's twelfth wife, gives us yet another case of Joseph marrying a woman who "belonged" to another man. At the time of her marriage to Joseph she was still Jabez Durfee, her third husband following the death of her previous two.

The Durfee's moved to Nauvoo with their ten children (she had had children with both of her previous husbands and Jabez had a few of his own as well) in 1839. She married Joseph Smith in 1842. She was 51 and, like the Patty Sessions, who was also older than Joseph, became a polygamy recruiter. Elizabeth was not a virgin and did not bear Joseph any children. Emma didn't know about this marriage either.

Elizabeth and Jabez separated shortly after Joseph's death. She married again, this time to Cornelius Lott. In addition to finding a fifth husband, she got a sister wife through Cornelius' daughter Melissa, who was also married to Joseph.

Elizabeth never made it out to Utah. Instead she grew tired of the Brighamites and went back to Nauvoo, where she joined Emma and Joseph Smith III in the Reformed LDS Church (Community of Christ).

Marry the prophet! Marry the prophet! Don't disobey!

What, pray tell, is holy about Joseph Smith recruiting older women to help convince young women to marry him? How awful is it to have pressure from both the prophet and a few select older women of the community? Did Elizabeth know that Joseph was having sex with some of his wives or did she think this was all a spiritual thing?

Marinda Nancy Johnson Hyde (Smith) - wife #11

Marinda Johnson (June 28, 1815 - March 24, 1886) joined the Church with her family at age 15. Three years later she was courted by soon-to-be-apostle Orson Hyde. They were married in 1834 and within months Orson was off on a series of missions leaving Marinda and their two children all to their young lonesomeness. The Hydes moved to Nauvoo in 1839 where they had another child.

Then, in April of 1840, Orson was sent to Jerusalem. He was gone for three years leaving his family to suffer financially as well as emotionally. Two years into Orson's Jerusalem mission, Marinda married Joseph Smith. Orson probably didn't know about it before it happened, but within a year of his wife's marriage to Joseph, he also entered polygamy marrying two more women.

Two of Marinda's children Frank Henry and Orson Washington, though they were given the Hyde family name, could have been Joseph's.

Marinda and Orson would stay together for another 27 years - Marinda bearing seven more children and Orson marrying seven more women - until their divorce in 1870.

Such is the bliss of celestial marriage.

Patty Bartlett Sessions (Smith) Perry - wife #10

Patty Bartlett (February 4, 1795 - December 14, 1893) grew up in a non-religious home. At age seventeen she married 22-year-old David Sessions  and had seven children with him: Peregrine, Silvanus, Sylvia, Anna, David, another Anna, and Amanda). David made a living as a farmer, miller, and landlord while Patty learned midwifery. She delivered over 3900 babies in her lifetime.

Patty first encountered the Mormons in 1833 and joined in 1834 after getting David's permission. They soon moved to Far West, Missouri and then on to Nauvoo, where Patty would be sealed to Joseph Smith (almost 11 years her younger) just one month after her daughter Sylvia, who was also in attendance. Willard Richards officiated the ceremony.

After the marriage Patty continued to live with David and accepted the task of training younger women for polygamy. She eventually grew to hate plural marriage as she herself had to learn to share David with another woman named Rosilla. David sent Rosilla out of the house after tension between her and Patty mounted. Rosilla eventually left David.

The Sessions moved to Utah, where David took another wife, 19-year-old Harriott, at which point Patty was essentially left on her own.

After David died Patty married John Perry, but unfortunately for Patty, John also married Harriott, once again leaving Patty alone.

I cannot for the life of me see how the benefits of polygamy might outweigh the pain of rejection Patty must have felt throughout her life. Younger women were constantly being favored over her. Her daughter and sister wife Sylvia was likely getting significant one on one time in the sack with Joseph, her second sister wife stressed her marriage to David, and her third sister wife diverted both David and John from spending much time with her.

Who knows? Maybe Patty wasn't a very pleasant person. She could have been a joyless, demanding, complaining, bore. I also believe it's possible that the polygamous relationships she lived were not inspired. More likely they were occasions where men seized the opportunity to revamp their libido, though in the case of Joseph I suspect it might have had more to do with easing Patty's concerns for Sylvia. Then again, maybe Joseph was interested in being a cougar's cub.

Sylvia Porter Sessions Lyon (Smith) Clark - wife #8

Sylvia Sessions (31 July, 1818 - 12 April, 1882) and her parents converted to Mormonism and left Maine for Missouri in 1837. Sylvia married Windsor Lyon, with whom she would have three children, all of which would die in infancy or childhood. Joseph Smith officiated the marriage. The young couple moved to Nauvoo in 1839 and by the beginning of 1842 Sylvia had joined the secret ranks of Joseph's plural wives.

Sylvia remained with Windsor, who likely did not known of his wife's polygamy.

Within about a month of burying her last surviving child with Windsor, she had a fourth child, Josephine Rosetta Lyon, whom she later claimed was the daughter of Joseph. The results of DNA testing are not available to confirm or discredit Sylvia's claim.

   

Josephine could be Joseph's. Her nose resemble's Sylvia's 
but her eyes and especially her mouth look more like Joseph's.
Her jaw looks appears to be a nice genetic compromise between the two.

Six years later Sylvia married Ezekiel Clark. They eventually moved to Utah.

With Sylvia's marriage to Joseph we encounter the same problem as seen with other marriages: Sylvia was not an eligible virgin and Emma had probably not given her consent to the marriage. However, this might be the rare marriages that might have actually produced "seed" unto dear Joseph.

Presendia Lanthrop Huntington Buell (Smith) Kimball - wife #6

Zina's older sister, Presendia Huntington (September 7, 1810 - February 1, 1892), also married Joseph Smith about two months later. Like Zina, Presendia was already married. She and her husband Norman, with whom she would have seven children, had been following Joseph Smith since joining the Church together in 1836.

Again, Joseph deserves a little credit for being upfront with Presendia about plural marriage (even if he was going behind Emma's back). To his discredit, it seems as though this marriage was likely part of a salvation bargain with Dimick Huntington, the brother of Zina and Presendia who officiated the marriage. That's right, Dimick gave off his sister in exchange for a place with Joseph and the Smith family in the Afterlife.

Dimick Baker Huntington, brother.

After the marriage Presendia continued to live with her first husband, Norman, until 1846 when he couldn't handle the Mormons anymore. She left him and one of her two surviving children, 16-year-old George, and took the other child, six-year-old Oliver, to go live as Heber C. Kimball's plural wife (his sixteenth at that point).

"I think no more of taking another wife than I do of buying a cow." (actual quote!)

Heber Chase Kimball, good man

Unaware that she had already married Heber, Norman tried to get back with Presendia only to be denied. Presendia and Heber had two children together: Presendia Celestia Kimball and Joseph Smith Kimball.

Presendia is yet another example of someone who according to the rules of polygamy should never have taken on a second husband. In the case of her marriage to Joseph Smith, she was not a virgin and the two never produced children; in the case of her marriage to Heber Kimball, she still wasn't a virgin and she was definitely sealed to another man.

But you don't need the rules to get a sense of how messed up the marriage game was in Nauvoo. If there is any righteousness in Presendia's story, you'll have to help me find it.

Zina Diantha Huntington Jacobs (Smith) Young - wife #5

The early 1840s in Nauvoo is where and when Joseph Smith's polygamy took off. We can only guess as to why. Maybe it was because Joseph was under threat of death by an angel of God if he refused. Or maybe it had something to do with the fact that now Joseph had an entire city full of citizens eager to show their faith and devotion in his prophetic calling and willing to do just about anything to gain God's favor. Whatever the case, Joseph's marriage to Louisa really set things in motion. Zina Jacobs followed in relatively short order.

Like Louisa, Zina had recently lost her mother to the early Nauvoo malaria epidemic. In addition to coping with her mother's death, Zina had to juggle the attention of two suitors: Henry Bailey Jacobs, who wanted a wife, and the nearly all-powerful brother Joseph, who explained (to his credit) he needed another wife. Henry had started his pursuit before Joseph, but that didn't necessarily rule out Nauvoo's number one citizen. Amazingly she turned Joseph down to accept Henry's proposal.

Or maybe Zina's refusal shouldn't shock us at all. How many women are dying to become a sister wife?

A couple of months later Joseph came back at Zina with this story:

Obviously the death-threatening angel bullshit worked. Despite the deep shame she felt by consenting, Zina eventually (and conveniently) gained a testimony of plural marriage.

Zina continued living with Henry, but Joseph kept sending Henry on missions. After Joseph was killed, Zina married Brigham Young, who sent Henry to England. Zina then moved in with Brigham and his other wives leaving Henry feeling like total shit. Poor Zina. Poor Henry.

Why was Zina ever a candidate for plural marriage? She was not a virgin and she did not bear children with Joseph. And do you honestly think Emma gave her consent?

Here is the Feminist Mormon Housewives Podcast episode about her. 

Lucinda Pendleton Morgan Harris (Smith) - wife #3

Lucinda Harris and her husband George joined the LDS Church in 1834 and moved to Missouri four years later. Joseph and Emma also moved to Missouri that same year and were taken in by George for a couple of months. Joseph secretly married Lucinda (a few years Joseph's senior) before being pushed from Missouri to Nauvoo, Illinios.

Lucinda continued living with George, who might not have even been aware of Lucinda's marriage to Joseph. Emma probably didn't know about it either.

Or maybe they did. Joseph reserved a lot for the Harrises across the street from him in Nauvoo, George wanted to see the Nauvoo Expositor press destroyed, and when he died Lucinda was crying hard at the head of the casket. Joseph clearly wanted the Harrises close by, George might have wanted to hide his wife's polygamy, and Lucinda's position at the Joseph's casket could indicate that Emma accepted her as a sister wife. Who can say for sure? It might have been an 1830s open but secret marriage.

What is certain is that this marriage was in violation of the rules of taking plural wives. Lucinda was certainly not a virgin and she never had a child with Joseph. So how did they justify it?

Lucinda divorced George around 1853 and eventually became a Catholic nun.

Here is the Feminist Mormon Housewives Podcast episode about her. 

A change of tune

Before Section 132 was included in The Doctrine & Covenants in 1876 there was another section that addressed polygamy specifically. It was Section 101 verse 4 (later Section 109), now edited out. It explicitly called polygamy a crime, denied its practice in the Church, and clarified that a man should have only one wife and a woman should have only one husband.

Apologists rest their defense of Joseph Smith's and early leaders' practice of polygamy despite scripture commanding against it on the fact that polygamy was not generally practiced in the Church, and/or that Oliver Cowdery wrote the now removed Section 101 as a statement of belief that was then approved by the ignorant masses of General Conference and not a revelation to the prophet. So why didn't Joseph repeal it, like, ever? Or at least modify it?

Why didn't the Church redact Section 132 in 1995 when it released the very monogamous-sounding Family proclamation? Or why didn't the Church at least include a more obvious polygamous family option in the proclamation so as to be true to its current doctrine? It all seems a little dishonest.

Call it sanctioned by God, call it evil, ignore it, either way it's coming back to hit you.

Them there's the rules!

Unlike in other books of scripture, The Doctrine & Covenants contains a very precise explanation of how to properly engage in divinely sanctioned polygyny.

1. Women who are sealed to other men are disqualified because that would be polyandry. (D&C 132:41)
2. The bride to be must be a virgin and
3. you have to ask your current wife or wives for permission. (D&C 132:61)
4. If the wife says no, she's a sinner and the husband is exempt from practicing polygamy. (D&C 132:65)
5. You have to have babies. (D&C 132:63)

The key concept to understand here is that once a woman has sex with a man, she belongs to that man.

"And if he have ten virgins given unto him by this law, he cannot commit adultery, for they belong to him, and they are given unto him; therefore is he justified." (D&C 132:62)

Virginity is not a gift that keeps on giving - it's a one time trade - , but as long as you can pile on the virgins you're good. Thus sayeth the Lord.

Pluralities

The LDS Church currently does not allow its members to have two living spouses. Anyone in the Church with more than one living spouse is most likely keeping it a secret from member friends and local leaders. Consequently most members take the Church's current position to mean that the Church doesn't practice polygamy and others might not believe its part of Mormon doctrine.

However, the fact is that polygamy, when divinely commanded, is a divine principle according to Mormon scripture, and God could at any moment bring it back.

Not that it's actually gone away completely. Currently apostle Dallin Oaks is expecting to live eternally with at least two women. He married Kristen McCain after his first wife, June Dixon, passed away. He is eternally sealed to both women, who get to share his eternal companionship.

 Eternal companion #1

 EC2

Previous wives don't have to be dead though. Today a Mormon man can be sealed to more than one living woman as long as he is only legally married to one and not cohabitating with the one(s) he had divorced. In other words, a man can be sealed in the temple, divorce that wife, and be sealed to another woman even if the first is still alive.

I'm not sure if the Church puts a cap on how many times a man can divorce and be sealed to a new woman, but I do know that there's a cap on how many times a woman can be sealed in the temple while living. Once. Any marriages following a death or divorce are for time only.

Yes, that's sexist. No, I don't think it's right.