Polygamy - prophetic voice

I've posted before about John Taylor's questionable sanity, but please consider for a moment John Taylor's summation of the evil of monogamy:

"...the one-wife system not only degenerates the human family, both physically and intellectually, but it is entirely incompatible with philosophical notions of immortality; it is a lure to temptation, and has always proved a curse to a people."

Holy shit that's a moronic thing to say!

Now consider that he was not at all alone in departing such stupidity from the pulpit. WTF, folks? There's no way LDS Mormons are supposed to believe any of this, right?

Polygamy - unscrupulous seduction

The recent explanation of how the LDS Church got involved in polygamy mentions that:

A few men unscrupulously used these rumors [of Joseph Smith marrying multiple women] to seduce women to join them in an unauthorized practice sometimes referred to as “spiritual wifery.” When this was discovered, the men were cut off from the Church.

Couldn't this also apply to Joseph? His version might look something like this:

Joseph Smith unscrupulously used his prophetic authority and a story about being threatened by an angel to seduce women to join him in an unauthorized practice sometimes called "celestial marriage." When this was discovered, he was cut down by critics and eventually a violent mob.

History is written by the winners.

Polygamy - until Death do us unite

Now that the LDS Church has officially put up information on lds.org about Joseph Smith's polyandry, let's see what the Church has to say about it.

Joseph Smith was sealed to a number of women who were already married. Neither these women nor Joseph explained much about these sealings, though several women said they were for eternity alone. Other women left no records, making it unknown whether their sealings were for time and eternity or were for eternity alone. 

What's an "eternity alone" marriage? Here's the explanation:

Eternity-only sealings indicated relationships in the next life alone.

"Relationships" means sexual relationships; it seems that some of Joseph's marriages would only involve sex after death and resurrection. 

So relax, there's a chance that Joseph wasn't boning all of the already married women that he secretly married. BUT THEY'LL BE GETTING IT ON INFINITELY IN THE NEXT LIFE.

Does that sound any less weird? Does "eternity alone" even make sense given how long eternity is? What about postponing sex makes having multiple spouses sound more acceptable to Mormons? I wonder how the husbands feel about this arrangement? Wouldn't a "life alone" marriage at least offer the relief of knowing that your wife's relationship with another man will one day end?

Pluralities

The LDS Church currently does not allow its members to have two living spouses. Anyone in the Church with more than one living spouse is most likely keeping it a secret from member friends and local leaders. Consequently most members take the Church's current position to mean that the Church doesn't practice polygamy and others might not believe its part of Mormon doctrine.

However, the fact is that polygamy, when divinely commanded, is a divine principle according to Mormon scripture, and God could at any moment bring it back.

Not that it's actually gone away completely. Currently apostle Dallin Oaks is expecting to live eternally with at least two women. He married Kristen McCain after his first wife, June Dixon, passed away. He is eternally sealed to both women, who get to share his eternal companionship.

 Eternal companion #1

 EC2

Previous wives don't have to be dead though. Today a Mormon man can be sealed to more than one living woman as long as he is only legally married to one and not cohabitating with the one(s) he had divorced. In other words, a man can be sealed in the temple, divorce that wife, and be sealed to another woman even if the first is still alive.

I'm not sure if the Church puts a cap on how many times a man can divorce and be sealed to a new woman, but I do know that there's a cap on how many times a woman can be sealed in the temple while living. Once. Any marriages following a death or divorce are for time only.

Yes, that's sexist. No, I don't think it's right.