Sunday, May 11, 2014

Urim and Thummim


Though I feel it's common knowledge now, I had no idea that Joseph Smith discarded the Urim and Thummin as translating devises in favor of one of the magic, treasure-finding peep stones he had collected throughout his teens and twenties. He would put it in his hat and the words of the translation would appear before his eyes.


The Urim and Thummin approach with the gold plates at Joseph's fingertips is already pretty fucking magical, but removing the plates completely is totally fucking nuts.

And yet the LDS Church still defends the peep stone in a hat method even thought the Urim and Thummim framed in spectacle-like frames attached to a breastplate has been dragged around by Moroni for the sole specific purpose of translating the 50 lbs. (or more) plates 1200 years later. The Church even dares suggest that Joseph's heavy involvement in early American folk magic could have been used "for the higher purpose of translating scripture."

They must be joking. Seriously, it has to be a joke. How does bullshit treasure finder magic suddenly become a legitimate tool of God for the sake of translating ancient languages? This is like believing a tarot card reader turned bishop can use his card reading skills to better conduct worthiness interviews and lead the ward under the divine inspiration.

"I've also got some impressive stones, sister, should you be interested."

This is where Mormonism starts to feel like a gullibility contest.

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